Destined
by GlassyEyes
Summary: Bella is a nomad vampire before she meets the cullens read about her past and how she ends up meeting the cullens BxE, AxJ,CxEs,RxEm
1. Chapter 1

** I like to thank my Beta Nostalgicmiss she is great at what she does and i am forever in her debt lol **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of Stephenie Meyers characters ... i do own Gabby and John they came right from my own imagination lol**

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I watched my prey as they stood in awe fascinated by the lake view in front of them

I watched my prey as they stood in awe fascinated by the lake view in front of them. I have to say when I first came to Glacier National Park and saw St. Mary Lake in Montana I was struck dumb by the beauty of it too, the way the sky met the mountains was marvelous and the water was so clear it was like looking into a mirror when the mountains were reflected off it.

I understood a little bit too much of how the way my prey felt at the time I even understood how there eyes widened over the shock trying to take in everything that was in front of them, but as the wind shifted, blowing toward me a delicious scent that made the heat in my throat come to a open flame all of that was pushed to the side of my mind as my instincts took over.

Slipping into my crouch lower and ghosting over the leaves I became easily distracted thinking how useless this was since they would never be able to hear me coming even if I did try. As the wind moved again bringing their scent to me and making the burning in my throat worse I let the pull of the scent take over me as I crept closer and closer forward.

"The scene is beautiful right Jess?" I heard the man whisper to the woman next to him giving him the most loving stare I could imagine. She turned and looked at him with that same twinkling stare it was an adorable scene ….. It looked like it came straight out of some sweet teen movie but I was so close now to what I wanted so it would only take a matter of seconds to turn into any horrorflick.

As the wind blew again toward me I felt the venom pool in mouth and the burn in my throat made me almost moan with hunger not being able to keep up with the façade anymore I did not hesitate to spring toward the girl first "Jess" as the man called her. I could feel the muscles in my leg contract and release as I hurled my self over to her catching her around the waist and slamming her into the ground. Not giving her anytime to inhale air to scream I hurriedly snapped her neck and leaned my teeth into her throat.

I felt my teeth slip into her neck like a warm knife into butter freeing that warm liquid into my throat. I moaned at the taste and the sensation warming my body all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes. I barely noticed the screaming the man was doing behind me as I drained her body of the life she once I had. It didn't matter if he screamed all day we were to far out for anybody to hear but it was just a little aggravating to me. When I was done with "Jess" I dropped her completely drained body from my arms and stood and faced the man. His face was paled with fear and wonder I could see as the expressions went over his face. I could understand the feelings he was both it was not everyday that you saw some beautiful girl jump out of the woods and kill a companion of yours. Of course he would never see the humor in this but I just found his reaction to me a little bit funny. Sick sense of humor I guess. I crept toward him as began to back away I was praying he would run I loved the runners it was fun chasing them down it was even more fun when they tried to fight back. I could tell that this person right here was entirely in shock I went ahead a killed him to draining his body of the substance I craved for everyday for almost 3 years. Looking down on the unknown man and "Jess" the guilt that I had also suffered from for 3 years came washing over me again I hated what I did to them but there was no other way for me to survive than how I was now because I am a _Vampire_ and this has been my way of life since that faithful day 3 years ago.

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	2. Chapter 2

1

oO - - - - - - - - Oo

After the guilt of the kill subsided, I approached the still body of the man. His glassy eyes were glaring out into the afternoon. My hands mechanically pulled the lids over the dead eyes, I couldn't deal with the reinforcement of my paralyzing guilt.

I rumbled through the unknown mans pockets and pulled out his wallet, I found out that his name was Christopher Henderson. It was always harder giving my victims names but it made me feel a little more human, I felt like I could give them their final farewell, their closure if I carried their names with me. While stashing his credit card, driver's license and cash into my jean pockets I came across a black velvet box.

A stabbing pain hit my dead heart as I opened it and saw the engagement ring inside. What should have been this bright young couples happiest day, had become the day of their death, I hadn't even given him a chance to give her the happiness she deserved to feel. I looked back over my shoulder at the dead girl at least 10 feet from where Christopher laid.

As I looked, I knew that she would have accepted and they would've had a nice life together. I don't know how I knew this, maybe it was because the look of love she had in her eyes before I killed her but somehow I knew. I emptied both of their pockets and decided to leave the ring on "Jess" fingers and bury them together. They deserved that much, it was entirely too late to extend any other kindness.

I walked around the woods with there bodies in my arms trying to find a nice tree. I always thought of this as a sick way of burying people, but what other choice did I have. If anyone came across their bodies, they would find the marks I had tainted their skin with, they would also see the resemblance to human teeth in the formation.

Laying both their bodies aside, I lifted the tree up by its roots. Slowly and carefully I slid their bodies into the ground, I wanted it to be more gentle, I wanted to arrange them so they would be in one another's arms, but time and the awkwardness of the situation afforded me no pity. I laid the tree back down over them .The sound of their bones crushing under the pressure of the tree reached my sensitive ears, making me feel guilty all over again.

Before I left the scene I decided to give them a tombstone …. Well something similar to it anyway. I picked away at the thick bark on the tree with my finger nails for a few seconds and stepped away to look at my handy work.

It read: _Chris and Jess Together Forever_. I figured I would keep it short and simple just in case somebody did come across of it, this way they wouldn't think anything of it. It was a simple declaration of love, I had seen it so many times in parks and forests. I even remember seeing initial scratched into hearts on school children's books.

I sat down with my back against the tree and started to think. As I sat in the woods, I contemplated on what I would do next. Normally _my _kind wouldn't think of what was next they would just get up and go but I liked to have a plan, it was something I did when I was still human.

As I sat there thinking, I started to remember Charlie and Renee. I missed them so much, I didn't like to think about how much pain they suffered when I suddenly disappeared. I desperately wanted to see them, but I knew it would be a dangerous idea.. I couldn't trust myself being around them, and I'm sure it would scare the living hell out of them if, there supposedly dead daughter for 3 years, walked back into their lives, pale as a sheet of paper and adorning crimson eyes.

As I sat pondering, watching my skin faintly glitter in the moon light, I decided I've been in Montana too long, and it was time to make a move. I'd been wandering around here for a few months now, breaking into humans' cabins to take showers and steal clothes, or wash the ones I had now.

Sometimes, I would watch the news on their fancy expensive flat screens. And just lounge around on their nice comfy couches and love seats. I was always gone before they were there, and they never noticed if I was there or not.

As I sat listening to the little animals in the woods, the wind blew around me bringing me another scent. It was a scent I was really familiar with, it screamed _Vampire_.

"Jeeze," I mumbled to myself, "It took you long enough." I said, before springing up and resting against the tree where I'd laid Chris and Jess.

I waited as a man and woman came toward me, strolling like they had not a care in the world.

"Ah, Bella," the man said. "We're sorry for keeping you waiting, but you know how Gabby gets"

He snickered, glancing at the girl who kept from looking at my face, she saw me narrowing my eyes in irritation.

"Sorry, Bella." she said, with a huge smile. "You know I like to play with my food just a little bit."she giggled at her own words.

"Didn't anybody ever teach you _not_ to play with your food Gabby?" I said with a grin. I couldn't be mad at Gabby no matter what I tried. She was just so full of energy that you couldn't help but to let the anger pass.

"Yeah but when have I ever listened to anybody" she giggled. I smiled even more at her comment because it was so true. Ever since I met Gabby she has always been like that.

"It also doesn't help that you always get what you want either," said the man next to her, smiling at her with gleaming white teeth. That was also true. Ever since I met Gabby, she always got what she wanted. I didn't understand how she did it either, I settled for the thinking that it was her looks, rather than the gift she had.

Gabby was the same height as me, with curly dark brown hair that fell to her shoulders, she had small little lips over the pretty white teeth that sparkled when she smiled. When she closed her eyes, her long lashes touched the smooth flawless skin of her face. I smiled even wider when her bell like voice rang through the trees in laughter.

John, Gabby's twin brother, who was the same height as Gabby and looked like a spitting image of her, but his hair wasn't as curly as hers. His masculine features turned to me then and stopped laughing when he saw the little tombstone I made for Christopher and Jess.

"Bella," he said, "What's that on the tree?"

He stepping closer to inspect my small ode to the couple, his eyes widened when he finally figured it out. He read the expression of sorrow now etched on my face

"Aw, Bella," he chastised softly "It'll be okay, tell us what happened"

He sat me down while Gabby wrapped her arms around my shoulders in comfort. His large hands wrapped around mine and he rubbed them gently.

I recounted my hunt for the two of them, sobbing at the end when I told them about the engagement ring and what I thought would've happen if I never intervened. Out of the three of us I had the most trouble coming to terms with what I was. Gabby and John had already gone through this, so they knew how I felt about hunting and my aversion to it. They helped me a lot since I wandered into town. They were the only friends that I had in this new world and I would always be indebted to them, even though I just met them.

When I had finally calmed down enough to stop sobbing, I decided to tell them about me leaving Montana and moving on somewhere else.

"So I've decided." I said, pausing to get there attention. I decided to start the topic off with nonchalance, I knew how Gabby and John hated that I wouldn't be staying with them wherever they went. They had grown as attached to me as I had to them in this short time together. They were gentle souls.

"I need to leave Montana and go somewhere new," I sighed, looking into both of their eyes to get my point across. "What do you think?"

I could see Gabby's thought process as she came to the realization that I wanted to leave. She, more than John in so many ways, had become attached to me. I knew she enjoyed having another female around.

"Do you have to leave?" she asked, her eyes full of sincerity. "You can come east with us. And then you won't have to be alone so much…even though I know that you liked to be . . ." she mumbled the last part but I still heard her.

I hated hurting her. She was a really good friend, but she was right. I did like to be by myself, and I knew that if I ever wanted to find them, it wouldn't be that hard.

"Yeah Gabby I think it's time for me to leave and plus it's not like we won't see each other, we have all eternity right" I laughed, and like me she giggled at the word eternity.

"So, when are you leaving?" asked John. I knew he especially didn't want me to leave. I knew how he felt about me but the feelings weren't mutual. I looked at him more as a brother than anything.

"I don't know." I said, putting my head in my hands. "More likely today than tomorrow. It'll probably be later on today though. You should get a move on too, the humans are getting suspicious with all the disappearances that have been happening in the last 3 months." I said looking at both of them.

They nodded in agreement at my words and stood up to face me

"Well, I think we might as well say goodbye now, rather than hold off on the inevitable" John said, smiling at me, while Gabby gave me a tight squeeze and a peck on the cheeks.

"Where are you headed anyway?" I asked John as I released Gabby and leaned in to give him a hug.

"Don't know yet," he laughed. "Not everybody in the world plans everything like you do, Bella. Where are you going though? I'm sure you know already" he said.

I rolled my eyes and grinned, he thought he knew me so well

"I'm going back to Washington; I'll probably be near Seattle, or near my old town, Forks."

Gabby and John gawked at me with mouths wide open, it was such a funny site that I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" I choked out between fits of giggles. "Spit it out"

Their expressions made me laugh even harder.

"We thought you wouldn't be going back to Washington, because of the all memories . . . Well, especially not Forks. When was the last time you've been there?" Gabby said, still looking at me with that same 'lost' expression on her face.

"Well, it's been 3 years, and I just have a feeling I should go back." I said simply. I knew it was a sorry excuse, but it was true. Lately I'd been having this nagging feeling that I should go back to Forks for some reason. I didn't know what I would do when I got there, and I knew I would restrain from seeing Charlie, but that was basically it. I knew I wouldn't get rid of this feeling until I finally went back.

"Oh," was the only thing Gabby said when she released me. "I'll miss you, Bella Wella"

She knew I hated the pet name she'd given me, I growled softly at her in response as she walked back to John. With one final glance, and a small look of concern. They ran off to the woods in the direction they came from.

When I couldn't see or hear their feet making a path away from me anymore, I turned and walked back toward the front of the park where all the cars where parked. I knew it wouldn't be hard finding Christopher's car. And the clicker on his keys would certainly give away its location easy enough. I supposed this could be considered luck.

It was darkening outside, and since it rained the night before, there was still a heavy cloud cover. I could smell that there was a another heavy storm on it's way, so I didn't have to hurry, but I wanted to get away from here as fast as I could . . . which was pretty fast.

When I emerged from the trees and walked into the parking lot near the edge of the forest trail, I kept my head down as much as possible. Of course, I got a lot of stares, but those stares would've turned into shock and fright if they'd have caught sight of my blood red eyes.

I pulled the car keys out from my pocket and looked at the key symbol they belonged to a Ford, and the only Ford in the parking lot was a black Ford 2008 Mustang. I wouldn't need to use the clicker thankfully; it would have only attracted more unwanted attention.

It was a nice car, even I had to say. So nice, in fact, that it lifted my mood a little. I walked the length of the car and stroked my hand against its glossy side. Everything on the beautiful machine was custom, and I was anticipating the interior, hoping that the radio wouldn't be the only exception to the customization. Unlocking the door with a click of a button, I slid into the leather driver seat that had "Chris" stitched into the head rest. The car had a wonderful feel to it, and there was nice pair of shades in the glove compartment. I knew I would have to use these later on, while I was on the road to hide my eyes. They were dark enough so I knew they would be perfect.

As I reached to put the keys in the ignition something caught my eye. There on the dashboard next to the speedometer was a picture of Christopher and Jess, smiling like they didn't have a care in the world. I decided to leave it there as an homage, I would get rid of it later.

Driving back to Washington would take 20 hours, but as I swerved in and out of cars on the freeway I estimated it would at least be a 10 hour trip.

It was around 7 o'clock when I finally stopped for gas in a small town in Idaho, trying not to be seen again I hurriedly slid the card into the machine on the pump and followed the prompts. It asked me for the zip code, so I typed in the one from Christopher's license. It cleared and told me to pump, so I pulled the handle from the cradle, and inserted the handle into the gas tank gasket.

While I was waiting on the car to fill up, I looked up and saw the store clerk of the gas station staring at me from the store window. His expression changed when he saw me, it was full of awe, I will never get over how my looks made men stumble over there words and made women feel insecure.

I studied myself in the dark tint of the cars windows as I waited for the car to fill up. Since I had changed, I doubted that if anybody who did know me from my past life, they wouldn't recognize me now, that's even if they got close enough to inspect me anyway. My facial features had changed drastically, my cheeks bones were higher and my lips were fuller and my nose was a little sharper. My hair was a little longer but I liked the length, and it had a little bit more of a healthier shine to it.

"Finally," I muttered, when I heard the click indicating the tank was full. I snatched the handle out in a hurry again and jumped in the car pulling away and speeding once more toward my destination. I couldn't understand why I was so excited; maybe it was the thought of being somewhere familiar like home or being closer to it than I had been in a while. Whatever it was, it had me smiling the whole time as I raced forward.

When I finally reached Seattle, I knew I had to change clothes. The ones I had on now were a little bit ragged, and were slightly torn in places from where I had came in contact with branches. Searching the streets for some kind of clothing store, I finally found one little department store that sold all kinds of clothing I knew I would never be able to afford if I was still human, but I had a feeling Christopher would be able to afford it, the car itself was great evidence. So, I pulled into the parking lot and slid into a parking spot near the front entrance, just in case I had to make a quick get away.

I never have been a heavy shopper, when I was with Gabby and John, Gabby took care of all that, but since she introduced me to some designers, I had a few favorites.

When I stepped into the store there were several things I noticed. The first thing I noticed was all the stuff in it I would have grabbed if I never noticed the second thing.

However, that second thing, which was this smell that wasn't blood but better, came from across the room near the register. It smelled something like honey, sun, and lavender. I couldn't put my name to it, but it was . . . words fail me.

The third thing I noticed was 2 pairs of warm golden eyes looking at me. The first pair belonged to a strikingly beautiful, petite, pixie-like girl that had short hair that was styled in a halo of perfect spikes all around. Her eyes were a mystery, they were a warm gold . . . topaz, is what I would describe them as. She had an arm full of clothes. It was extraordinary she could even carry that much she was so small.

Then there was the boy. He looked like a Greek god or a angel of some sort, he was tall and lean but you could see the muscles in his arm contract when ran his fingers through his brown hair - I think it was brown it had a golden red tint to it – making it even more messy than it was before. It was his eyes though that stopped my breathing. Sure, they were the same color as the girl that stood next to him, but they were different – They looked like liquid gold, smoldering a little. I don't know how long we stood there. Me staring at them and them staring right back at me with a shock expression on there face

I'm sure my expression of surprise matched theirs, but that was all I saw, because I turned right around and walked back outside toward the car to leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking just a little bit faster than the normal human would

1Walking just a little bit faster than the normal human would. I raced back toward the mustang, sliding into the seat and pulling out of the parking lot in a matter of seconds. I had totally lost the façade I usually kept around humans, I was so distracted. I didn't even think twice as I cut off the tiny little Honda Civic that was driving to slow for my taste.

I don't know why I was scared – if that was what I was – of seeing the 2 vampires in the store. It had rattled me a little and caught me off guard; I could feel the gentle trembling in my limbs as I gripped the steering wheel tighter. The veins on the back of my hand slightly protruded. I had to release the death grip or the steering wheel would be putty in my hands . . . literally.

They had to be vampires, the scent was similar to the ones Gabby and John had, but not that potent, no where near it actually.

As I sped down the street, weaving through the traffic, I thought how lucky I was for parking that close. Something had drawn me to that spot for a reason, and quite honestly I didn't care what the reasoning was behind it. I had gotten away from there.

I relaxed in my seat and took a long, even, unneeded breath; I scanned my mirrors briefly as I motored forward. My shoulders fell from their tense position as I eased my foot from the gas. This wasn't so unusual; there were plenty of vampires around after all.

I kept my eyes on the road, that was until I caught the canary yellow Porsche trailing behind me in my rearview mirror.

"Shit" I muttered to myself, speeding up to 130mph.

I maneuvered the Mustang through the traffic, my senses and instincts were peaking with the anxiety I felt. As I sped up, I heard the engine of the Porsche accelerate. The gentle humming of the engine met my ears, the sleek machine was purring as its speed increased.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself as I pushed the pedal to the floor.

What did they want with me? Why were they following me? It would be just my luck if this was one of those crazy southern wars crusaders that Gabby had told me about. I remember her telling me that it was only going on in the southern states.

If it was one of those situations I asked myself 2 questions:

When did it make its grand debut in the northern states?

How was I going to get out of this situation?

I raced this mystery person in the Porsche around the streets of Seattle. Both machines weaving in and out of the building traffic, we were almost perfectly synchronized. I checked my rearview mirror ever so often to see if I would lose them but they were persistent at keeping up with me as I was on losing them.

I came to the realization that these had to be the two vampires I saw in the department store earlier. Yes, they were beautiful, and this could very well be their territory, but what gave them the right to follow me around like some stupid COPS' knock off?

Frustrated, I growled a menacing growl under my breath as I raced around some Toyota with a broken tail light. I could feel the monster coming out of me the more my temper rose. My lips pulled back over my teeth as I growled again, a little bit louder, and gripped the steering wheel harder and pressing the accelerator down more. I could feel the steering wheel give away under my grip as the plastic splinters trickled out from under my grasp. Pushing the accelerator to the floor now I growled a little more, but much louder, it was building slowly into a snapping snarl, and it was directed at the mystery people behind me.

I made the decision that if this kept up any more, I would pull over and face them myself and things would not go as nicely as I would want it to go as my temper rose, rising at its peak. Murderously angry I attempted to pull over on the right shoulder of the freeway and face these people.

Then, as if they heard my decision the Porsche slowed down to my astonishment. When I noticed this, I pushed the gas harder to put as much space between me and the Porsche.

The Canary yellow was fading in my eye sight the father I drove away from it. The distance was considerable; I knew this because I had better vision than a hawk.

I drove on father and father until it was inevitable, I would have to get gas sometime. I pulled into a small gas station/restaurant out on the edge of Seattle. My still frayed nerves were nagging at me to continue, but the light had come on indicating I needed gas, and an annoying dinging accompanied it.

When I finally jumped out of the car, a mouth watering scent came blowing toward me from the east. I hadn't noticed I was so thirsty; I had been driving around like a maniac for the past two hours trying to lose those people. I inhaled a deep breath, and the venom pooled in my mouth with the scintillating flavor, I looked around for the source of the distracting aroma.

As my eyes scanned the area, I found the source; it was a small family coming from the restaurant side of the building. The two adults, looking blissfully happy, were swinging a beautiful little girl between them by the hands. I instantly stopped breathing when I saw this sight.

Yes, I was a bloodthirsty monster and I went and murdered people as a weekly thing because of the stuff I would, and have killed for. The mouth-watering, toe tingling, warm liquid that made its way down my throat every time I couldn't bear the fire in my throat anymore, but I did have my standards, and I wouldn't slaughter a whole family like some of my former acquaintances would have.

I'd certainly had companions who would have slaughtered the family within a blink of an eye and drained the life from their bodies, even the little girl. It was hers they would have done gymnastics over. The way her sweet innocence wafted over me almost made me lose control, but I would have to wait to hunt, I would not show the monster that I fought for control over to that little girl.

Relief filled me when they finally climbed into their sedan, thus leaving from my eye sight and the keen awareness of my nose. They were escaping the danger that was so close to them, the danger I possessed, if I didn't grab a hold of myself. Breathing in deep, heavy breaths, I waited as the gas pumped into the mustang.

The burn in my throat had started to reach a level of slight pain and irritation. So I made no hesitation when I jumped back in the mustang stomped on the accelerator. I smiled as the engine purred to life and jolted down the street, heading back towards Seattle.

After every hour or so I would chance a glance in my rearview mirror just to check if my unwanted company decided to grace me with their presence again.

I drove around Seattle for a couple of minutes looking for my prey. It only took ten minutes to found him. I hated thinking about humans like this. They were people with families. They had Mothers, Fathers, Siblings, and Children. Maybe it was the instinct of what I was, but I couldn't help but _enjoy_ it when a man saw me for the first time. I loved how their eyes widened in fascination as they tried to drink in all of my beauty in one glance. It amused me how I could get them to do anything and everything with just a few words like "Hi, how are you?"

Of course their minds were probably screaming something else entirely, but they could never pull away as my cold hands would grasp theirs and my cool breath washed them in temptation. They would willingly follow me to their unknown death.

I thought of this as I pulled the car into a space near the curb and got out with the sun glasses on. It wasn't sunny outside, but I doubted it would make me look suspicious as I walked toward a man of average height at a cross walk.

It shocked me that maybe I was finally coming to terms with what I was. Yes, I was a monster, I knew that, I also knew I would never get over the guilt I felt every time I did make a kill, but this was the only way I knew. What other path was there for me? And if there were other options, would I be strong enough to follow them?

I walked toward the man at the cross walk and smiled as he took a double glance at me. Without hesitation, I walked closer toward him.

I don't know why I didn't see this coming, maybe I was so intoxicated with the mans scent that I didn't smell the other one closing in on me. It was too late, when I finally noticed what happened.

While I was walking toward the man, that same odd smell hit me, then I saw them … Well, _him _actually, as he walked toward me. I stopped dead in my tracks as he came closer.

Stopping my breathing, I tensed myself for an attack. They had to be very bold to fight in the middle of the day with so many humans around. I stood stock still as he came closer cautioning me with those mysterious eyes. He slowly made his way toward me.

"I won't harm you" he said softly.

I guess he was hoping I would relax a little from his words. I have to admit, I was caught off guard by his voice. When it hit me, it was like soft velvet, but there was one thing I knew for certain, you never let your guard down dealing with the vampires, especially vampires with topaz eyes.

I couldn't get over there eyes, I knew that would be one mystery I would solve before I left town again.

He was standing in front of me now. I could see every feature in his angelic face. The light bruises under his mysterious eyes, the way his hair moved when the wind blew, bringing with it his scent that knocked the air out of me all over again.

He was staring back at me with an expression that I couldn't understand. It looked like curiosity mixed with frustration. I couldn't understand it, but I didn't care I could stay looking at this beautiful man forever if I had to. Before I could gather my scattered thoughts he spoke again, dazzling me with his scent, his lightly aromatic breath and smooth voice.

"I think I need to introduce myself," he stated. "My name is Edward Cullen, and this is my sister Alice. May we know yours?"

I didn't even notice the girl that was standing at his side now, but when I did glance at her, I noticed she was very beautiful too, just like him. Her inky black hair blew gently in the breeze, and her features were so much more pronounced than I had seen when she stood in the store.

She looked really excited for some odd reason; she was beaming as she gave a smile as he said her name.

"Hello" she said in a beautiful sing-song voice. It sounded oddly musical and harmonious. I remembered hearing Gabby and John's voices, not to mention the other numerous vampires I came across during the years.

All of them had beautiful voices that could leave anybody stunned, but never were that attractive as the two facing me now.

"Would you mind telling us your name" Edward asked me again. His golden eyes locked on to me.

"Isabella Swan" I said softly.

I watched his eyes narrowing slightly when he heard my name.

"Bella" I said even softer.

I didn't like the name Isabella, it sounded weird to me, too formal and unfamiliar. Out of place in the life I was living now. I didn't have the faintest idea why I gave him that name anyway.

"Edward" Alice said, bringing his focus away and from me and toward her.

I took this is as a chance to gather my thoughts before his attention was back on me again.

"We need to move, the sun will be making appearance in a few minutes and I don't think we need to be here when it does." she stated softly.

Edward nodded his head and turned back to me, stunning me once again with his features.

"Bella," he said softly. "Would you mind accompanying me and my sister back to our home in Forks, it's not that far from here?"

This is what snapped me out of my trance, Forks? They lived in Forks? Impossible!

I know I've been away from home for sometime, and they probably settled in when I was gone but …Forks?

"Edward!" Alice said again, motioning to the sky.

Looking up I saw the clouds moving away from the sun as the wind blew again to the east.

"Bella," he said with a little more urgency.

I looked at him again, and nodded a stiff nod. I fell in step behind him and Alice, walking toward the Porsche parked a few blocks away.


	4. Chapter 4

The ride from Seattle to Forks started off quiet

The ride from Seattle to Forks started off quiet. I sat horizontally across the tiny back seat of the car, going over in my mind the last hour and I how I ended up in the back seat of canary yellow Porsche with two strangers in the front, taking me to my old home town, and who knows where else. Regardless of these thoughts, there were three things I was absolutely positive about.

I at least knew the two mysterious people in the seats in front of me had names, and they were Edward and Alice Cullen, they were siblings, and they were now taking me to meet the rest of their family. This oddly led to the astonishing realization of number two.

I wasn't the slightest bit nervous or suspicious about them. Of course, I kept thinking why should I be? I've met numerous vampires since my rebirth, but then again, none had given chase to me around the city of Seattle or any other city for that matter and none had _Yellow _eyes.

And then, the last I one I figured out as I stared at the angelic mans reflection in the side mirror. I watched as the wind blew his copper hair and his scent around in the car. I couldn't tear my eyes from him; it was then, that I then realized I was deeply in love with him. How absurd!

I knew it was too early for feelings like these to be making themselves apparent, but it was something I was certain about. The feeling was festering inside of me, and there was no denying it.

In the past, I'd been told how pretty I was, either from my prey or from the associates I met in the past year or so. I never thought as myself beautiful or stunning as they claimed I was. Pretty? Maybe; but I thought if they said anything over that it was just absurd.

John used to tell me all the time that I never saw myself clearly, but I knew for sure that the Adonis sitting in the passenger seat now would never think of me the way that I thought of him. He intrigued me; I was drawn to the masculine lines of his face, the beauty of his stature. The small things, like the way his mouth moved when he spoke, the way his eyes would change shape as he considered things . . . considered me.

As we got closer toward our destination; another question popped into my head while I was staring at the landscape outside my window. I tried to ignore it by concentrating more on the scenery in front of me. The scenery that was not Edward Cullen.

Forks hadn't changed one bit, though I don't know why I would thought it would have. The greenery that covered every last bit of every tree we passed reminded me of the home I once had. The car was moving quickly, but my eyes were just as quick as it picked out the ferns hugging the bases of the towering trees. My new sight made everything even greener, I really hadn't considered that possible.

It seemed, in the end though, that concentrating on something else would not work. So I voiced the question that had been bouncing around in my head ever since I first took a seat inside of the car. I was not coming up with a subtle way to voice the question though, so I took the easiest way I could think of.

"Why" I asked quietly to no one in particular.

I watched as Alice glanced at Edward for a second before he twisted his body around in the front seat to look at me. Giving me that same curious and frustrated stare like before. "Would you care to elaborate, Bella?" he asked softly, dazzling me again with his eyes.

"Why did you follow me from the store?" I asked through my teeth. Remembering it bought back the old frustration and anger. "Why did you chase me through Seattle?" I clamped my mouth shut as I felt another growl coming through my teeth.

Edward, cocked his head to the side, and a small crooked smile changed his expression, one side of his lips rose slightly higher than the other, it was almost distracting, and it made him look even more handsome, like that was a possibility! It also seemed like he was enjoying my anger.

I wanted to concentrate, and hold onto my anger, it seemed like the only way I could find my voice, but I instantly lost all of my anger the moment when that small crooked grin came upon his face. I wondered did he even know what he did to people vampire or humans.

I'm sure if I was human my heart would've been going a mile of minute, and I would've been red from blushing.

His beauty distracted me more than I wanted it to, I knew that that it wasn't sensible to lose my head like this, especially seeing as, essentially, I was being taken to the lions den, and I had absolutely no idea what was waiting for me there. Still, I couldn't shake that feeling of trust. I trusted the two that shared the car with me.

"Well," he said slowly. "We were going to introduce ourselves, but you ran from the store so fast we just followed."

It seemed I would have to do this the hard way, I thought.

"That still doesn't answer the question," I said, but before he could open his mouth to respond Alice cut him off swiftly.

"I saw you making the decision to hunt," she said, her voice full of nonchalance. The way she said it made it sound like she was telling me the weather for tomorrow.

_Saw_? I thought. I must have looked as confused as I felt, because Edward grinned at my expression and started to explain.

"Alice has a gift," he said simply. "She can see the future but it's complicated, in a way. She can see the outcome of decisions people make, thus seeing things happen before they actually happen, but the future is not set in stone, one tiny decision can change the whole outcome of the future"

As he said this, some of the pieces of the puzzles started to come together; but just to be sure I asked anyway.

"Is this the reason you stopped chasing me around the city?" I directed the question toward Alice. She nodded looking at me from the rearview mirror "I saw you making the decision to stop and face us, I didn't want things to get out of hand so I stopped. I knew what you were going to do afterwards anyway. I decided that we would face you when you started to hunt. We couldn't have you hunting in Seattle anyway." she said simply while putting her focus back on the road.

Silence filled the car as I thought about the connotations of her words. What was it to them if I hunted in Seattle?

"Sorry," she said, after a few minutes. "Though I think my gift is the best out of the whole family!" she said proudly and then giggling at Edward as he rolled his eyes in response. "I'm not the only gifted person in our family," she continued. "My husband Jasper, can feel and manipulate the emotions of others around him," she then gestured toward Edward and said "Edward can hear other peoples thoughts; it comes in handy a little when someone gets a little suspicious about us and our family."

Edward then turned around and looked out of his window when she finished. His brows were furrowed, and his face was thoughtful as he considered her words. For once, he seemed confused. It was refreshing.

"Not everybody it seems, Alice." he said slowly "I can't hear her, it's like she's not even here."

That same curious, frustrated expression crossed his features, but this time I knew why.

"Maybe Carlisle can give us an answer when we get back," Alice said as she maneuvered her way around traffic again.

I couldn't say I was surprised at the thought of them having special gifts. I knew they were special in one way or another. But I was surprised at the little information of him saying he couldn't hear me. I didn't know how to take that.

At first it was a mind-blowing relief. Relief because he didn't and wouldn't know all the embarrassing thoughts that were running wild in my head when I first laid eyes on him, but soon the relief left and it turned into a tiny bit of sadness as I thought I would be the only one he couldn't hear. Yes, he wouldn't know the deep feelings I felt for him saving me all the embarrassment, but just a tiny part of me still wanted him to.

Sadness then turned to horror as I realized how I must be some freak. A freak surrounded by other freaks. '_Oh how lovely_,' I thought as I sighed and turned to look out the window at the scenery once again. This was just typical!

The conversation ended there as we exited off the freeway and drove through the little town of Forks, I was noticed all the stuff that hadn't changed, and from the looks of it, never would. I watched as we passed the Police Station, I could see Charlie's cruiser was still parked in the same spot after so long, I was glad he was able to live again after 'my death'. I turned my head after some time; my emotions were eating at me. I couldn't stand knowing that my father was so close, and I couldn't go and see him.

We kept driving all the way to the edge of town. The farther we went out, the bigger the houses would get putting more space between them. I was sure we were in the middle of no where until Alice turned into a tiny cut-off, one I knew I would've missed if I was still human.

It was surrounded by so many trees I doubted if anybody, except for the three of us in the car and their family, would ever know it existed.

Maneuvering around trees that were on the trail, we were at a speed no human would take while driving through the rough twists and turns. We entered into a meadow that surrounded a beautiful house. The grass was swaying gently in the breeze; each blade seemed to be dancing separately as it tangled with the others. But there was something else that was pulling at my attention. My eyes', being dragged away from this beauty was a testament to the house itself.

The house was three stories tall and was a soft faded white. It looked like a timeless masterpiece, possessing with it a certain charm.

"Your home is beautiful" I whispered to them, still marveling at the beauty of the structure ahead of us.

"Thanks," Alice replied. "Though I think you should be praising Esme, our mother, she put in all of the hard work."

I couldn't even imagine how much time and effort had been placed in the upkeep of the phenomenal house. Each item seemed meticulously placed, my eyes were drawn to several places at once as I tried to drink it all in with my eyes, and commit it to my infallible memory.

Alice then pulled into a huge eight car garage on the side of the house. The building was cavernous, and housed some of the most beautiful machines I had ever seen. I never knew much about cars, but I knew from the red BMW M3 to the shiny silver Volvo sitting on the opposite side of it, that they were all well cared for. The shiny paint on them was evidence to that.

I didn't know what to make of the situation I put myself into, but since I thought I came this far I might as well solve the mystery of the mysterious _'Yellow Eyed Vampires.' _I laughed quietly to myself as I thought this. It felt like I was in some cheap imitation of Scooby Doo. I looked over my shoulder to see if Shaggy, Scooby, and Thelma were going to throw a rope around us and call in the authorities.

Hesitant still though, I pondered on the thought of leaving and just moving on. As much as I trusted the two in front of me, I owed them nothing. I had willingly come this far with them, wouldn't that be enough? It would be easy enough, all I had to do was get of the car and walk, well run, away. Of course, I forgot to calculate Alice's gift in though.

Right as I made the decision to leave, her tiny little hand quickly grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me after her, we entered a door that led in from the garage and into a hallway adjourned with paintings. I wanted to inspect them closer but it seemed Alice had other plans as she dragged me forward to the lighted room at the end of the hallway.

Once stepping into the room, she let go of the death grip hold she had on my wrist and danced herself toward a lean, but muscular man. He was gorgeous, but his beauty was nothing compared to that of Edward, his blond hair was styled perfectly and his teeth gleamed in the light as he grinned at Alice. I felt a pang of jealousy at their small reunion. After hugging her he turned towards me and gave me a small smile, he had gold eyes like Alice, with his honey blond hair and nice distinctive features I could see why she was so happy to be close to him again.

I had to say, the most prominent feature of him were the crescent markings all over his arms and neck. I couldn't but help but tense just a little at the sight of them; they screamed _Danger _in so many ways. He smiled apologetically at me when he saw my reaction and took a hold of Alice's hand who then looked up to smile at him. Her eyes were alight, it was obvious he was her mate, so much trust and adoration filled her small features, it would have been difficult not to have made the connection.

My eyes moved away from the scene, because next to Alice was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I was sure she caused a lot of self-esteems to be broken while she was in a room. I caught myself, and laughed internally at my reaction. I was about to go and give myself a look over in the closest mirror I could find, I was feeling very insecure by being so close to her.

She had blond hair, that flowed down her back, it was almost similar to the man holding Alice's hand that I came to realize must be Jasper, I remembered his name from the discussion of abilities. She looked like a high fashion model that had just stepped right off the runway, fresh from doing a show in France or some other country in Europe. I'm sure she had been too.

She was lounging on the couch with a monster of a man with curly dark hair. He had huge muscles that wrapped around his arms and torso; he looked like he had been into weight lifting or something similar before he was changed.

He had excitement plastered all over his handsome face as he gave an energetic wave and smile. I couldn't help but return his smile. His lips made his smile and enthusiasm infectious, as big as he was; he seemed to be genuinely kind and easy going. I watched the two couples in front of me; I noticed all there expressions were similar. They ranged from excitement, to calm smiles. Well, except for the blond girl, she looked mildly interested, but I figured that rarely anything excited her.

I was trying to figure why they would be excited, were visitors so few and far between that my presence was cause for this merry welcoming committee? My thoughts were disturbed when I heard two sets of soft footsteps coming closer.

Two more people walked in from another door on the right of me. The woman, had a soft maternal look about her, I figured this must be Esme, the mother that Alice mentioned in the car, she had a small heart shaped face and caramel colored hair. The same beautiful features were present, just like the rest of them had. She was small and slender, but a little less angular than the rest. She gave me a warm smile when she saw me, which gave me the inclination to go and give her a huge hug.

The man next to her looked like he belonged in Hollywood with all the movie stars. He looked young, but older than the other males in the room, and had blond hair.

He carried a certain aura around him that made me think he had seen much in his time. His features were kind, and his curious yellow eyes were welcoming.

As I surveyed my surroundings, I was already calm, almost too calm, but I couldn't help the nagging thought running through my mind . . .

_What have I gotten myself into? _


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer

* * *

"Everybody" Edward said calmly "This Is Isabella"

"Everybody" Edward said calmly "This Is Isabella".

I scowled slightly at the name "Bella" I said correcting him softly.

"You're very welcome Bella. My name is Carlisle and this is my wife Esme" The older of the two blond males smiled at me, I could hear the sincerity behind the words. I could also detect the slight English accent in his voice as he gestured toward Esme.

"I'm sure you know Edward and Alice" he said flashing a brilliant smile toward Edward. "This here is Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper" he said gesturing toward the couple on the couch and the blond man holding hands with Alice.

As I looked around the room I figured it had to be the family room from the comfy couches and the huge plasma T.V on the wall. The room even felt comfortable, Esme seemed to have a gift when it came to making a house a home. There was a huge wall made of glass to the right of me and as I glanced out of it I could see a river that wound itself around trees. The trees behind the river framed the scene perfectly; I heard the rushing water of the river as it moved along. They were vampires! How did they come to acquire all of this? The house, the cars how were they able to keep the humans from becoming suspicious.

I'm sure they had to deal with the thirst just as much I or any other vampire would have to. I knew first hand there was no escaping that. They couldn't have been spared from the one thing that tortures the rest of us every second of our existence. Or could they? My confused expression must have given Carlisle the need to speak.

"I'm sure you have many questions for us, as we have for you, feel free to make yourself welcome here." he said flashing another brilliant smile at me; I couldn't help but to smile back. He then turned toward Alice who was discussing fashion with an excited Rosalie "Alice," he said pulling her attention away. "Would you like to show Bella her room?" he said calmly.

I watched as Alice danced over toward me and Edward and grabbed my hand pulling me toward the door that Carlisle and Esme entered through earlier. She seemed quite excitable and she tugged on my frozen limbs.

"Room?" I said to Alice. She started climbing the stairs of a beautiful mahogany staircase; it was ornate in design and had a slight twist as it danced towards the second floor.

"Well, of course you would have a room, silly." she said slowly, like I was some type of imbecile "I'm sure you would like to have your privacy."

She stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway, a large grin moved her features, and her eyes were alight with excitement. I gasped as she opened the door and walked in.

The room was cavernous, and was decorated in various shades of blue and white. There was a beautiful royal blue couch with white pillows on the wall beside me and next to it was a small wooden stand that held a white lamp. Across from me was a window, very much like the one downstairs. The whole backside of the house must have been covered in glass. I had no complaints, the mountain scenery was beautiful. There was a royal blue cotton area rug in the center of the room, it looked extremely soft to the eye but I didn't want to touch it, in fact, I didn't want to touch anything in here, afraid I might mess up its perfection. There were two doors from the left of the door we'd just entered, I'm sure those led to the closet and the bathroom. I didn't need a closet, I didn't have anything with me nor would I need to. It was common for nomads like myself to wear the clothes on our back until opportunity afforded us the gift of clean clothes. Okay, that was stretching it a bit, it was more luck. You could break in anywhere, but not everyone wore the same sized clothes. Anyway, it would be too much baggage to carry around when I did leave.

Sitting in between the two doors was an expensive looking stereo, there were so many dials and buttons on it, I was quite sure if I ever got the chance to listen to it, it would put the little radio I had when I was human to shame.

On the other side of the doors was small bookcase, I could pick out some of my favorites as I looked at it Wuthering Heights, A collection of Jane Austen, and almost the entire works of William Shakespeare, including a book of sonnets. I started to wonder how long it took to put all of this together. It seemed too much for somebody that wasn't staying long. Was it a guest room that was here whenever somebody came over?

I was brought out of my thoughts by Alice's bell like voice.

"Do you like it?" her beautiful sing-song voice filled the room.

"It's really beautiful," I said looking at her. Her eyes were absolutely glowing with excitement.

"I picked blue because it's a nice color on you" she said excitedly.

I narrowed my eyebrows at this comment. How long did they know I was coming? Did she see me coming before I was actually here because of the little gift she possessed.

"Alice" I said calmly, stopping her from explaining the mechanics of the stereo "How long, exactly, did you know I was coming?" I was hoping she would see the double meaning in the question. I wasn't disappointed.

"About a month," she announced smoothly. "When you first started thinking about coming, but you hadn't decided yet, I figured there was a chance though so I went ahead and got everything together anyway?"

Her smile brightened her face as she looked at me expectantly. I could tell even from this early that this girl and I would be great friends in the future; I wouldn't be surprised if she saw it too . . . literally.

"Do you want to see your closet? I got a full wardrobe, I didn't know what your preferred taste were." she asked eagerly, her eyes sparkling with more excitement than I thought were even possible.

I barely had a second to reply before she grabbed my wrist and dragged me toward a door. If I thought the room itself was huge, I was sorely mistaken when we reached the closet.

There were racks upon racks of clothes hanging on hangers, and shelves full of shoes in every style and brand I could imagine. Every pair of jeans in there was different in the littlest ways. The closet looked like the storage room of a very high end department store, hell all the clothes still had price tags on them. I was shocked beyond words. She did all this in a _month_. How? But more importantly; why?

"Alice," I squeaked. "Please tell me you didn't go and buy all of this." I gasped as I went to a shirt and looked at the tag. Three hundred dollars; for a _shirt_, I shivered at the thought and hesitated looking at the rest of the prices.

"Oh, don't think anything of it, Bella." She exclaimed cheerfully. "Just think about it as a welcome gift or something"

I tried opening my mouth to protest, but she quickly cut me off "It's too late, Bella." she said, a sly grin coming on to her face. "You're just going to have to take it, because no one here can fit into any of this and I lost the receipts."

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief at the last response. Vampires couldn't lose anything, we were meticulous, and highly unlikely with the memory we had.

"Okay, Okay." she said, when she saw that I didn't believe her. "I didn't lose the receipts, I burned them, because I figured you would try to get me to take them back, not that I would anyway, but it is true that no one can fit into all of this."

I just stared at her in response; I couldn't even try to understand why she would go through all of this for me. A complete stranger at that. How could a complete stranger give so much to someone they didn't know?

I had been giving when I was human, I helped out at the shelters, I gave help when it was needed, but what I did was nothing compared to what Alice did for me. I noticed that I had my mouth open like a fish after a second, and closed it. I decided I would keep my mouth shut now, but I wouldn't use them or their hospitality. It was the best I could do for now.

"Good, it's best that you don't fight me on this, Bella, because in the end, I will win, I always do." she said, grinning from ear to ear. "So, I guess you would like to get out of those clothes and freshen up. I'll teach you later how to use your closet, just come down stairs when your ready to talk." and with that, she left. I could here her quick footsteps going down the hallway.

I stared at where she'd left for a second and decided I might as well just accept this. From somewhere in the house, I heard her laugh.

"That's the spirit Bella!" Her voice carried to me easily.

I couldn't help but laugh then, she was so quirky.

I don't know why I was so surprised when I walked into the bathroom. It had a long counter filled with all kinds of things to enhance someone's beauty, I didn't see the reason why I would need it, and half of this stuff was used to remove dead cells, exfoliate the skin and make it clean and shiny and stop pimples from making a debut on your face. I hadn't had a pimple in so long; I wondered what it was like for other girls when that embarrassing little mistake would pop up on their faces. It seemed like Alice did nothing half way, and I couldn't help but marvel at how prepared she was. Even if she did have a little bit of an advantage with her gift, but need-less to say, the girl had a talent.

The water was as I hot as I could make it when I stepped into the shower. I could feel the little beads of water as they tried to penetrate against my icy skin. I never did get over how everything looked and felt so different since my change. I was fascinated at how I could see every drop of water that fell from the head of the shower and blended in with the others that were flowing down the drain as I washed my hair with a shampoo that oddly smelled like strawberries. It vaguely reminded me of the brand I used when I was still human.

After I blow dried my hair and wrapped myself up in one of the soft blue towels in the closet of the bathroom, I walked out toward my closet.

I pulled out a blue blouse-I chose blue because Alice said it was a pretty color on me and I might as well take her advice- and a pair of jeans, I hurriedly tore the tags off with out looking at them. I didn't want to see the monetary value of what I was wearing; it would just remind me of how much they had done for me.

I scanned the shelves for shoes after putting on the clothes. I sighed a little at the sight. Shelf after shelf of heels, all kinds of them, stilettos, ankle boots, knee boots, some strapped around your ankle some all the way up your leg, I always had little patience when it came to shoes like those when I was human. I could barely walk on my own two feet with out tripping, so I considered high heels or anything with a heel as shiny little death traps on my feet.

Of course since my change, my little klutz gene disappeared, but 'old habits die hard' I thought as I fount a pair of all stars and slid them on my feet. I brushed my hair into a ponytail, rolled the sleeves of my blouse up to my elbows, and headed toward the door that led to the hallway and the stairs.

Taking deep, unnecessary breaths, I walked outside the door and into the hallway. I took my time as I turned right and headed toward the staircase. I looked at the paintings that lined the walls, they were beautiful and one of a kind. I had seen nothing like them before and I started discovering a few new favorites as I walked on.

I could hear words being exchanged when I came to the bottom of the staircase, and started making my way to the sitting room walking slower than the normal pace I used.

"I don't know why Carlisle, it's like she's not even there, it's weird and frustrating."

I heard Edward whisper. Carlisle never did respond, I guessed he'd given his response in his mind instead of just voicing it like most. Edward's ability must come into handy when you wanted to have quiet conversations, but I was sure it was a hassle when it came to trying to keep secrets, or trying anything with him reading minds, and Alice, seeing what you do when you decided to do it. I was sure with Jasper's ability he could make you come out and say the embarrassing truth.

I walked into the sitting room before Edward could make a reply to whatever Carlisle's thoughts were about me. I wasn't angered about the fact that they were talking about me, I too was a little eager to know what kept Edward from hearing my thoughts.

They were all sitting on the sofas or nearby chairs that surrounded in the area. I took a seat in a comfortable little lounger. Once I sat down, all of them turned there attention to me.

I never liked to be the center of attention when I was human or now, so I didn't really know how to start the festivities. Thankfully, I didn't have to, because Carlisle then sat up and looked at me.

"I'm sure I'm right, but your name is Isabella correct" He asked, I nodded slowly in response.

"I like to be called Bella though, if you don't mind." I said smiling sheepishly up at him.

He smiled back at me before he asked another question, a question which took me by surprise a little, although I did expect it.

"Would you care to share your last name?" he said still smiling that brilliant smile at me.

"Swan," I replied softly. "My name is Isabella Marie Swan."

I wasn't looking at him or anything particular now, I knew they would realize as soon as I had given them my last name, so I wasn't surprised when I heard the sharp intakes of breaths and gasps.

"'Swan' Like Charlie Swan; the Chief of police here in Forks?" Emmett said in his booming voice.

I nodded my head slightly in answer to his question, confirming his suspicions, and making them into facts.

"That's my father, how is he doing?" I asked him.

He wasn't the one who would answer me; he sat back in the chair and stared at me like I had four heads. It was Edward who did answer though.

"He's doing well," he said calmly. "He could be better, but he's improved from how he was before."

"I never wanted Charlie to be in pain, but I knew I couldn't go back home either." I said softly, as a wave of calmness took me.

It surprised me a little at how strong it was. I was sure I was on the edge of going into a 'fit' but I then remembered Jaspers ability, and how he could feel my emotions. I shifted my gaze from the floor to him and mouthed a small 'Thanks,' he nodded back to show he understood.

"Bella?" Esme said softly. "What happened to you?"

As I looked into her eyes, I could see love that only a mother could have for their children. It surprised me how easily she had accepted me into her heart in only a few short hours. I looked at all the faces that were staring intently at me, waiting for me to continue, I decided to share my story with them. I started to relax in my chair just a little; my story was a long one.

"It all started three years ago on September thirteenth, my birthday actually. It's a little ironic if you think about it." I said looking at them all.

My gaze would linger on Edward more than the others though; it was his attention that I craved the most.

"What's ironic?" Rosalie said bringing my gaze toward her. I smiled a little at the confused expression on her features even confused she was still breath-taking.

"What's ironic . . ." I said looking at her then moving my gaze over to the rest of them.

". . . _Is that I died on the same day as my birth._"


	6. Chapter 6

"I moved to Forks 3 years ago in August, I was 17

1"I moved to Forks 3 years ago in August, I was 17. My mother Renée had just re-married to a minor league baseball player, Phil. Since he wasn't, signed he traveled around a lot. I could see that my mom was suffering when they were apart."

"It was my idea to move up here with Charlie. I hated Forks and my mother knew this, but I couldn't live with the fact that I was keeping her away from happiness. She begged for me not to go and I would lie constantly trying to convince her that 'I wanted to'. I was always a bad liar but saying it so much actually made it sound more convincing. I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun, the blistering heat, the sound of the ground as your feet would hit it, and I loved the sprawling city. It was a change, but I had a reason and I was sticking to it."

"Charlie was nice about the whole thing; he registered me at the local high school and got me a car. He was a little confused about my decision though. I hadn't made much a secret about the fact that I hated Forks."

I took a deep breath before I continued.

"I vaguely remember the four hour flight from Phoenix to Forks. I do remember that when I landed in Port angles it was raining, typical, you couldn't avoid it. Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser; I made sure I hid my face as I slid in the seat. I found it to be all too embarrassing to be chauffeured around everywhere in a car with lights on top of it."

"Charlie had went ahead and gotten me a car. It was a 53' Chevy Pickup. It was old, and it took brute strength, that I'm not even a vampire possessed, just to crack a window, and though it only went up to 55mph I loved it. It had class. Your fancy cars had nothing on my truck" I said smiling slightly.

"Sounds like a challenge for you Rose" Emmett said grinning at her as she playfully slapped his arm. "Rose likes to 'tinker' with cars. She does the work on all of ours." he said smiling at me.

"Please continue, Bella," Carlisle said smiling at Emmett and Rose before turning his attention back to me.

"My first day at Forks high was . . . Odd," I said smiling slightly at Alice.

"Whose wasn't?" she muttered under her breath.

"I remember parking outside of the Front Office and walking into a brightly lit room. There were little folding chairs with orange cushions on them against a wall, and there was a clock that was ticking annoyingly loud above them. The office was split in half by a long counter that had wire baskets filled to the brim with different bright sheets of paper overflowing. Behind the counter, were four desks, one which was occupied by a red-haired woman with a green shirt and black horn-rimmed glasses. She looked up as I approached her desk and smiled sweetly, she asked 'May I help you?' in an over-the-top professional act. 'My name is, Isabella Swan,' I said."

"I instantly saw the awareness light up her eyes when I said my name. What else could you expect from a small town like Forks? Daughter of towns Chief's flighty ex-wife comes home at last; I was sure the press had their hands full. It was like being in Mayberry; I half-expected Opie and Andy- Griffith walk in through the door whistling with a home-made fishing pole slung over their backs and greet me with a simple 'Hi-ya ma'am." I heard a small snicker of laughter escape Jasper when I said this. He looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry, it's just that I used to watch that show," he said quietly, then urged me to continue.

"She ruffled through the papers on her desk and handed me a school map, and my schedule. She wished me a good day as I exited out of the office and headed toward my car. It was so odd. In Phoenix, I never got so much as a second glance, but in Forks, all I received was stares and whispers as I walked down the halls toward my classes. The first person to talk, to me was a guy named Eric Yorkie; he was a little gangly with skin problems and black hair. Though I was doing fine by myself with getting around he insisted on helping me find my class which led to the introduction of another person, a girl. Her name was Jessica Stanley . . ." I was cut short then by whoops of laughter from Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice; even Carlisle and Esme were chuckling quietly. The only person that wasn't, was Edward. I hoped I didn't offend him; that was the last thing I ever wanted to do, especially to him.

"What's so funny?" I asked smiling at Alice, who looked like she could've had tears in her eyes if it were possible. She calmed down, but started giggling a little more as Edward hissed at her through clenched teeth.

"When we moved here, the year after you left, Jessica and Edward were in the same biology class and . . . well, since he can hear her thoughts, he would have to go through a whole hour of hearing the 'vulgar' thoughts she would think of between them. Also, Edward does the 'grocery' shopping, you know, to keep up appearances. She works at the one closest to here and she corners him every time with cheesy pick-up lines." she explained, chocking down laughter.

"Let's just say the girl has a '_vivid' _imagination and the visuals didn't leave a lot to the imagination." I could hear the disgust in Edward's voice as he recalled what he had seen; I was almost expecting a shudder. I couldn't help but laugh; it seemed Jessica was still up to the same antics even after three years. Though three years is not a long time I just would've figured she would realize.

"Please, go on, Bella," Edward said to me, while aiming a pillow at Emmett and glaring at Jasper who was still shaking with laughter.

"So anyway," I said still smiling. "After meeting Jessica, I was invited to sit with her at lunch and was introduced to some of her friends. Angela Weber and Ben Cheney who were at the time dating…"

"They're still together," Alice piped in.

"Tyler Crowley, Lauren Mallory, who I never counted as a friend but just as a person who happened to be there, and Mike Newton . . ."

This time the whoops of laughter that interrupted me were aimed at Rosalie who snarled at the name, and stalked off. Whatever it was had Carlisle and Esme doubled over in laughter. As I watched them laugh and try to convince Rosalie to come and join us again, I noticed how much of a normal family they resembled. To a human, maybe they looked like a regular family laughing and picking at each other. If I didn't know any better I would have thought the same.

When Rosalie finally came back in, she looked like murder on high-heels. I didn't mean to upset her I deliberated on just stopping my story; I didn't want to hurt anybody else's feelings. It was Alice who gained composure and explained.

"You didn't hurt Rose's feelings, Bella" she said. "It's just that Rosalie has tried to evade Mike Newton at all costs, she rarely leaves the house because it. Like Jessica, Mike is persistent. She has tried about everything, but he won't take no for an answer. It doesn't help that Emmett won't stop it, especially seeing as he enjoys watching men chase after her. Mike is the most entertaining suitor there's been in a while, he has little fear of us."

"Are you all finished at laughing at me now?" Rosalie snapped as she gracefully sat back on the couch, glaring at Emmett as he looked away still shaking with the laughter he was desperately fighting to keep in.

"A little help here Jasper, let Bella finish." She snarled since he and Alice were very much in the same predicament Emmett was in.

Soon I felt the soothing waves of tranquility wash over me, and I realized how tense I was, I took a deep breath as my muscles relaxed.

"Please continue, Bella." Esme said softly. "I'm sure we can guarantee no more interruptions"

Her eyes lingered on each of her family members before resting on my own. I nodded at her returning her smile.

"My short time here was spent with my friends at school, I would go out with them occasionally, but mainly, I would stay at home with Charlie. He would ask countless times why I would never go out as much the others, but I never was able to give him a reason. As the year went on, and the weather started to get wetter, which I thought was impossible, there really was nothing to do, so I started focusing on my school work, which had me near the top of my class. An accomplishment I hadn't really succeeded with before. Charlie and Renee were so proud."

I smiled as the memory ran through my mind; Charlie had used this as boasting material for weeks, and poor deputy Mark was probably ready to sabotage my grades just to stop the incessant bragging.

"When my birthday came around in September, I wasn't as excited Jessica and everybody were. I just thought of it as another day, nothing to make a big fuss over, but they insisted on celebrating. So, reluctantly I agreed."

"We decided to go out on the night of my birthday and see a movie. It landed on a Friday this year, so none of us really had a curfew, but there was a big game the next day and everybody wanted to be fresh for it. I wasn't going to the game of course, I never had much interest in sports, but I didn't want to keep Charlie up waiting. That night we all packed into Mike's white Chevy Suburban and headed up to Port Angles we bought tickets early and decided to meet up at the front of the theater 20 minutes before the movie started showing. I remember asking Angela and Ben if they were any bookstore around before separating from them in search of it."

I paused, taking an unnecessary breath. This was always the hardest part . . . the thought of what would've happened if I never separated from them if I never walked down that street. Unfortunately, the past was just that, the past, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it. 'What if's' were useless to me, it would never change a thing.

"I never made it to the bookstore, or the movie, I never even made it home, because when I walked away from them, and took the route they had pointed me in, I searched for the bookstore, but all I found was _him_. I remember clearly what I was thinking when I first saw him, he looked like a fallen angel, but I was confused by his eyes, they were to dark . . . I remember I was shocked at how black they were like staring into a pool of black ink. I was frozen on the spot. I remember my heart beating through my chest . . . my instincts telling me to run to get away, but I had never seen such a beautiful person in my life."

My thoughts pulled away as I looked at Edward. _'Except for now'_ I thought. I watched Edward as his intense eyes watched me, waiting for me to continue.

"I remember he smiled at me as I watched him. He moved toward me with such grace, it was an elegance I thought no one could actually possess."

"He reached for my hand and I took it without a second thought, a shiver ran down my spine as his ice cold hands touched my skin and his fingers wrapped themselves around mine pulling me toward, nothing in particular, and at the time I didn't really care. It was, however, the walk to my death. I do remember asking 'where are we going?' I had forced the question through my numb mouth, but he never answered me, he just smiled at me, placing me in a trance-like state again."

"He took me into a dark building, it looked like an abandoned warehouse, I had spent so little time in Port Angeles since my arrival, and I recognized nothing around us. I tried pulling away, but his hands were too strong . . . he just pulled me through the threshold like I was nothing but a rag-doll. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as he pulled me inside, my heart beat climbed and with it, his smile. His lips slightly pulled back, making his teeth look menacing . . . like a gleaming, but deadly beauty as they had been before."

"I squirmed from his grasp, my breath coming to me gasps as the fear took over me. I felt paralyzed by my fears, his strength made me feel weak, I tried to break away be he pulled me along as though I weighed nothing at all, it made a trickle of icy fear slide down my back."

"After we were deep enough in the warehouse, he released his grasp. My wrist felt bruised, almost crushed but I didn't feel the pain, I was too scared. He spun around in a blinding speed facing toward me. I slowly backed away as a growl emitted from his throat and he sunk into a crouch."

A shudder ran through me as I saw the picture in my head, they way his eyes narrowed and intensified as he watched the fear grow behind my eyes, the palpable excitement that he seemed to taste in the air. My fear had made this too enjoyable for him; he liked the adrenaline running through the blood as he drank. It was something I had learned as an immortal. He'd had the power to make it easy, he could have simply dazzled me and taken my life without my realization, but he didn't.

"I tried to remember any kind of self-defense I could use. As I backed away further his eyes followed my every step. After a few more steps, I turned and ran for the door, but he was in front of me in a flash. I screamed as he grabbed my hair forcing my head back revealing my neck, he leaned in without hesitation; his eyes were alight with excitement. I screamed as his teeth sunk into me." I shuddered at the memory of the venom flowing through my blood stream.

"I don't remember what happened after that, everything was flashing in and out. I was losing coherency. I couldn't scream, I couldn't feel, all I felt was the fire. I do remember vaguely hearing some yelling, snarling and a big crash. I remember hearing somebody else scream in agony like I did. After, I don't know how long — time had such a little meaning — the man, the angel that had led me there looked at me, his eyes, a terrifying crimson, now watched me, he sniffed the air. I barely remember him dropping my head to the ground and leaving . . . I saw his footsteps as he walked away, then, he disappeared into the dark. I blacked out after that, all I remember is the fire running through my veins."

I closed my eyes as my first vivid memory hit me; it was the memory of the pain, the excruciating pain. It consumed me.

"I don't know how long I was there, I just remember waking up and looking out the window and seeing it was night I breathed in and smelled something that set my throat on fire. I coughed and gagged trying to stop the burning but as I inhaled more it just got worse. Crazed and frightened; I ran out of the room I noticed how fast I was going on and stopped. There was a mirror on a wall and I slowly walked toward it I saw my reflection for the first time. I was paler, much to pale, I was tall my hair was longer It was shinier even though I was in rags and covered in dirt I looked beautiful, then I noticed my eyes .Blood red. I was frightened, I gasped at the sight, inhaling made me feel the burning in my throat once more. Scared, I ran outside."

To be continued


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Ok sorry everybody for not uploading sooner I'm having major computer problems so it's taking me a while to get things up and running again**

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Chapter 7 -

"I was hit with a delicious smell once I was outside. There was a couple walking around dressed in clothes that weren't quite right for Forks weather . . . tourists, it seemed they were lost as they kept checking street signs, though I was pretty far away I could hear the man when he spoke to the woman clearly as if I was standing with them.

"'Maybe we should call back; I think we turned down the wrong street.'"

"I gasped in shock at how I could now hear everything around me, the cars passing down a street somewhere, the flapping of bird wings and the hearts of those two people standing away from me. I thought the pain could not get any worse, but as I leaned in to hear there heart beats once more, it flamed up my throat making me cough and splutter. "Grabbing my chest in shock and confusion, I noticed I wasn't choking like the usual clumsy me, I then felt my chest and noticed how smooth it had gotten looking at muscles that I knew once before weren't there as my hands traveled to where my heart laid I noticed something that wasn't there, but something the others did have – no heart beat."

"I was scared, terrified and horrified at the thought of whatever I was now, but that delicious smell traveled over to me again as I breathed in trying to keep it together. Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming from over towards the couple – that or they were the ones creating it."

"Confused by the agony in my throat, I began to walk towards them warily, trying to find the source of the scent that was making my throat burn. I figured that the scent and the burning in my throat had to be related in some way."

"They didn't notice my presence as I was gaining on them; it was like they couldn't hear my feet making contact with the concrete under them. I pondered on this, but was soon distracted as I was then hit again with that delicious smell that – at the time - I couldn't describe."

"The more steps I took, I found myself slipping into a crouch that was unfamiliar. I had no reason to be like this and at first I didn't even know how, but when I look back on it I guess it was instinct. I remember watching them more closely now that I was in this new position. I was in a trance-like state I guess you could say. I watched as the man threw his hands up in the air at frustration as the woman dialed more numbers. I did not have one reason to be watching them like this, like they were prey, but the burning in my throat had gotten to a point that I just couldn't take."

"I inched closer toward them, as they turned around finally noticing me in my crouched form. I remember the look they had when they took notice of me, their eyes widened at the sight of my approach and position at the same time – ironic. I could hear their hearts start to race in their chests as shock crossed their features and then giving way to fear."

"I could only have imagined what they thought; a beautiful woman with ragged blood stained clothes hanging off of her, her hair matted and dirt covering her features, blood red eyes tracing there every move. They probably thought I was a victim of a terrible crime – which in a way I was. I actually wondered how sanguine I was, to cause this mans reaction. The man took action first; he turned his back from the woman and ran towards me. I remember hearing his heart gathering speed as he ran, his muscles stretching and relaxing as his legs pulled him toward me."

"As he made his way forward, I remember several things happened seemingly at once . . . I remember realizing where the scent was coming from - him. I growled and lunged forward, tackling him as fear barely had time to register on his features once again. I pulled his hands into a stone grasp as he tried to fight me off. His body was jerking as I drained his life source from him. I didn't know what I was doing, I remember staring at his neck as he stretched it out trying to see around me, taunting the monster inside of me, he was trying to tell the woman to run, but his words stopped as I sunk my teeth into his warm skin. I remember the woman screaming as I turned to her eager for more of the liquid heaven that filled her veins. One side of my mind – my logical self - was yelling at me, questioning my actions, but as bad as I wanted to stop I could find no way to stopping myself as I lunged forward once more at the woman. I closed my eyes in satisfaction as her blood coated my throat making the burning turn into a more bearable simmer, that's when I knew I couldn't have stop, even if I wanted to."

"I was horrified when I stopped and finally took register of what my actions had caused. Horrified; but yet somehow grateful as the burning pain in my throat was not as intense as before I made this action. I didn't know what I was, but I knew I was some type of monster. What else could something be that took human life for there own gain and pleasure. Just the same as the dark haired angel that had murdered me. I was terrified at what I had done, it was against everything I used to be, everything I stood for. The fear consumed me and I didn't know what to do except for . . . run."

I paused looking at the Cullen's before I opened my mouth to continue. I wasn't sure what their reaction would be to this, they were vampires, but their Modus Operandi was completely different.

"I stashed the bodies in a trash heap, but I did take whatever money they had and stole the woman's clothes. I knew the only reason they even came near me was because of what I looked like, I didn't want that to happen again if I could prevent it. It was dark as I ran through the streets of Port Angles so not many people were out. I tried to stay away from as many people as possible as I wandered, trying to come up with a plan, but when people did come too close I would let go and repeat the same thing over and over. I was a total savage. I had killed many; the media were starting to get suspicious as I killed more and more. I would steal newspapers and see the front page dilemma of disappearing people found dead in secluded areas of the city, their families calling out for a justice that should be served. I can only describe it as pure instinct, it pushed me, all I had to do was smell the blood, I could be blocks away but it would hit me like a freight train, dragging me to my nameless victims. All this havoc had people afraid, at first I would only kill at night but then I lost all control, and killed whenever I felt thirsty . . . which all the time was."

"You said all this happened 3 years ago?" Jasper asked eyes wide in disbelief.

I nodded slowly at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"It was you that was creating such havoc in Port Angles? I remember watching the story on the news with Alice."

Alice then nodded confirming Jasper's statement, she too stared at me eyes wide confirming my thoughts - they couldn't believe at how much of a monster I truly was.

"We wondered when the Volturi were going to show up and put a stop to it. How did you stop?" he asked me. "You had to have some kind of help, a nomad newborn in a city full of people how did you stop feeding so freely?"

Though I should have been used to it, I made a grimace at the word 'feeding'. "I did have help in a way," I whispered to him quietly. "I began to feel depressed after I noticed how much blood I was spilling, but it couldn't slow me down. Yes, I was sad, but I was satisfied and that seemed to be all that mattered at the time. That was until I met James; he took me in and showed me the ropes I guess you can say. I remember when he explained to me what I was and hoe I came to be. I was angered that whoever had left me would have just finished me off anything was better than this. The pain I had caused others especially my parents but even more my victims. I had wandered with him and his two companions, Victoria and Laurent. They weren't all too sure on having a newborn vampire tagging along with them - since I had no sense of control, but they knew they couldn't just let me go out and risk exposing us for what we were. They were wary, but they took me in and I was accepted. They recognized me from the newspaper articles once James introduced me. It seems that Charlie had put out a search for me since I disappeared and the search was still going on strong, after a year though he gave up. I knew all the pain I had caused him and Renée; I knew he would blame himself for my disappearance. I wanted to see him so badly and tell him it wasn't his fault – I chose to follow that man I made the decision that killed me. As bad as I wanted to see him I knew that if I ever went to see him I wouldn't be able to control myself and I did not want to put my father in a situation where I was the danger"

"I wandered around with James and his tiny coven for 2 years, he taught me everything that I needed to know to survive. Like Jasper, he was surprised that the Volturi didn't come looking for me. I remember him explaining the rules and who the Volturi were. I was grateful that I had run into him before they could get their hands on me. I remember him teaching me how to hunt a little more surreptitiously. In the past I would just go out and snatch who ever came my way without a second thought, I didn't even try to cover up my crimes, I would leave the bodies in areas that they would be found in. I didn't care and at the time, I didn't have to."

"He taught how to have a little control and how to get around by stealing cars, clothes, sneaking into houses to take showers and take care of other things, or just to lounge around and relax with the humans none the wiser - which was always a bit troublesome since I wasn't used to my new strength, I was constantly breaking things by accident."

"After the second year though, I didn't want to be around them so much. I told James how I felt and I left. I traveled around with other vampires for some time, but I would only travel with them for a few months. The longest I ever stayed with somebody was James, Laurent and Victoria. I liked being alone, it was a personal thing, I just didn't feel the need for companionship."

"I traveled around a lot staying in the northern regions of the states; before I ventured off by myself James warned me about the secret and told me about the south and the sun. I run into James and the rest a few times but it's only in passing we are still on good terms, I owe him a lot." I said wrapping up the rest of my story.

"Where were you before you came back?" Alice asked. "I saw you in the mountains with two others, but I didn't know where." She said with a questioning look.

"I was in Montana, and that was Gabby and John. I met them while I was in New York for a time." I stopped then as I thought about how they were doing. I hoped Gabby wasn't causing trouble and aggravating John like usual, they were always arguing.

I smiled a little as I thought about all the little arguments they would get into while I was with them.

It was quiet while I thought about my friends until Rosalie caught my attention distracting me with a question.

"Why did you come back? I'm sure this place holds a lot of memories, and Alice knew you were coming to Forks, so why would you come back after all this time?"

I found her question interesting, there were so many reasons why I came back, some would take more explaining than others, all leading into other stories, but to sum them all up I said one word, a name actually.

"Charlie."

I loved my father dearly. Charlie was strong and I knew that sooner or later he would be able to move past the fact that I wasn't in his life anymore, but I couldn't help but worry. I didn't have to explain my reasoning to the Cullen's once I said his name, they all nodded solemnly telling me they to understood.

It was Esme who broke the silence after some time.

"Well, I'm sure since you shared your story, it's only fair that we share some of ours." she said smiling. I nodded enthusiastically, I was finally going to be able to solve the mystery and it excited me. What was the secret behind the mysterious yellow eyes? How were such a large group of vampires able to live harmoniously with one another? How were they able to keep a residence of their own? Carlisle noticed my interest and smiled, he laid back taking a more casual position away from me.

"What would you like to know?"

There were thousands of questions running through my head, but I couldn't figure out which one to ask first, so I went with the most obvious. Confused by all the thoughts bouncing around in my head I blurted out, "Eyes?"

It was rude how I'd voiced it, but they smiled at me as I put my head down in embarrassment.

"I'll tell you a little about my history, which will come to explain everything else as well if you don't mind" he said " If you have more questions at the end I would be happy to answer them but I assume that after you hear it, everything will eventually fall into place." He said flashing me a reassuring smile.

As I sat and listened to Carlisle's story, I was in awe .He was right everything did start to fall into place. He was able to resist the thirst so long before he came up with another option . . . amazing.

He explained how his family had come together, each joining the growing coven as time passed, each also seemed to have their own story, but Carlisle was too gentlemanly to divulge the information. It was something that all vampires had in common. We all had a story to tell, a story that led to us to becoming what we are.

He explained how they lived so well together, how they were able to live in a group instead of the preferred lifestyle of most. Their unique diet had given them compassion, and in turn, they were able to grasp the bonds with one another. It made me feel hollow; I had never belonged to such a close family, not even as a human. My family loved me, but we'd never been so entirely close.

He was telling me about another coven in Denali, like his, that had the same lifestyle. This is when I realized something. Something I had known subconsciously but ignored all the same, something I never wanted to be . . . _I was a monster_.

I had killed many innocent people too many faces – some with no names - I had sucked the life away from them - and here sat this man and his family who had started off alone like me, but with more will power, had found a way to still exist without giving way to the monster. I was horrified.

I was still frozen in my seat when Carlisle had stopped speaking. I heard Jasper say something to him but I couldn't hear him, my mind was preoccupied. I was remembering the face of every person I had killed for my own gain in the past. How could I do that? Why couldn't I think of way around this like Carlisle had?

It was Edward who pulled me out of my trance. Kneeling down in front of me, but keeping a distance that was comfortable for strangers.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He whispered. His velvet voice was like a blanket of warmth that pulled me from the horrors running through my mind.

I stared into his molten gold eyes ._Why_? Was the only thing that I could think of? Why didn't I even try to resist?

I noticed the glass wall in my peripheral vision. I shifted my gaze from Edward's eyes to the glass window, looking through it I could see the forest, but I could also see everybody's reflection . . . Including the red eyes that were staring back at me wearing the same disbelief and horror that filled my every thought.

The eyes- _My Eyes_- were proof that I was, indeed, a monster.

"Bella?" I heard Edward say in his musical voice pulling my crimson eyes back to his molten gold ones causing me to feel the horror, self loathing and guilt once more.

"What is it that's causing her to feel so much fear and guilt?" I heard Jasper whisper to himself as he and the rest of his family looked at me with confused expressions, all except for Alice. Her eyes glazed over for a quick second and she frowned slightly. She'd obviously seen my decision but before she could say anything to prevent it I whispered hastily "I have to go."

Still staring into Edwards eyes as his forehead began to crease in confusion. Before he or anyone could even think about asking 'why?' I was out of my seat and running out the door, toward the wilderness. I needed to think about all I had just learned and what I should do now.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: So i know my chapters have been coming out very slow and I'm sorry but my schedule has changed. So i don't have much time to do enough writing for a chapter (i can barely fit it in my day to day schedule and -IT SUCKS-) but I'll try to get out chapters fast as i can just don't kill me LOL  
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**Chapter 8 -**

Everything around me was a green blur as I fled from the Cullen's house. I hadn't the faintest idea where I was going and if or when I did find out, I didn't know how I was going to get there. Of course, I could run but that would lead a pathway to me and they could chase me if they tried, though I was pretty fast there were seven of them and I knew they wouldn't have a problem tracking me down, especially not Jasper, I had a feeling it would be a breeze for him.

Usually during times like these when I was upset I would hunt, but even the thought of hunting disgusted me and from what I just learned, I would not even make contact with a human again for the rest of my existence if I was able to.

I slowed down to a walk as I churned over the disturbing information I just learned. It wasn't the fact that they hunted on animals that was disturbing, if anything that interested me more than the rest of the story, until my long lost theory barged into my mind again.

I closed my eyes in frustration and couldn't help but sob as the endless list of victims marched behind my lids. That was one thing I hated about being a vampire, you couldn't escape anything, and the memory was flawless. I could recall everything that had happened ever since I opened up these eyes. I would give anything if I could just slip into an unconscious slumber and let everything go until morning, but then I shook my head at that thought, I did always have weird dreams when I was human so the sleeping thing was probably one thing I didn't truly miss.

I was still walking mindlessly as a rancid smell hit me. It smelled similar to something woodsy or mold but more like a wet dog. My nose burned as I caught a whiff of whatever it was.

"What the . . .?" I murmured as I jumped a foot back, shielding my nose as the smell came closer.

I watched hesitantly as a man with nothing but sweat pants came out from behind a big evergreen. He was shaking from head to foot in, what could only be interpreted as, anger.

I knew who he was once he looked at me, even though he'd shot up like the tree's around us and his hair was shorter, but he was still Jacob, just more angry looking.

A frown pulled at the corners of my mouth as my eyebrows came together in confusion, from the look of his face he looked as though he wanted to eat me alive . . . literally.

Before I could voice my concern he said something, so menacing and hurtful, that I started to remember all of those nameless victims I had tried to push to the back of my mind.

"What are you doing here, bloodsucker?" he spat at me.

I flinched as his words, mainly because they were true, but also because it seemed he didn't recognize me anymore . . . his own best friend.

"Jacob," I said calmly taking a step backward as he took a step forward, his body blurring in and out of shape. He stopped after I called his name a look of confusion crossing his features "How do you know my name leech" he spat back at me.

"Jake, it's me, Bella." I said timidly. I didn't know why he was advancing on me, and I didn't have the faintest clue to why all my instincts were just begging me to rip his throat out, but I kept reminding myself that this was Jacob, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, as I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Well, that's what I thought.

"Lies," he hissed as he crouched down on all fours and a howl ripped threw his teeth. If I didn't have these eyes and the urge to blink I would have missed it.

In the beginning, it was just Jacob on all fours howling, his body shaking rapidly, when all of a sudden a massive wolf burst out of him taking his place clawing at me in my moment of weakness. I hissed and jumped back avoiding his attack.

"Jake, "I screamed, as another howl erupted from the left of me, bringing with it a sandy brown wolf.

I was cornered and I knew it. I wasn't going to fight him, I figured if I got him to remember me then maybe we could avoid this, but if not then this was karma and I deserved every bit of pain that karma threw at me. I glanced hesitantly at the big russet color wolf closed in on me . . . it was now or never.

"Jake," I said calmly looking into his eyes. "Remember when we met at First Beach when I had first moved here, and you told me about the legends at our drift wood bench. You were wrong Jake, they were true, all of them, and I'm sorry for not believing, because maybe I wouldn't be like this. I'm sorry I came back, but before you do anything just remember me, please."

I watched in shock as the wolf came into an immediate stand still. His brown eyes were wide in shock, I barely had to register the fact that I was still whole before he made an immediate turn back toward where we just were.

"Jake." I yelled about to give chase before arms wrapped around me pulling me roughly to whoever was holding me back from chasing my friend.

"He'll be back, Bella, give him time to think, he's just surprised." Edward whispered in my ear, his voice like velvet causing little shocks of electricity to move over my body. If my knees could have given out from under me they would have as I noticed at how close we were.

Edward must have noticed this because he let go of me abruptly. I knew then it was too good to be true, this man, who looked like a Greek god, would never accept me or look at me, let alone feel the same way I did about him, we were just too different.

I didn't have long to mope on my feelings before Edward turned to a tall and gangly looking boy, who also looked like he had grown entirely too fast. Seth Clearwater had grown a lot during the years that I had been gone, but even as I calculated the years, he was still very young and I knew that he wasn't as old as he looked.

"Thanks for stalling, and the warning, Seth." Edward said smiling gently, while shaking the boy's massive hand. I stared in awe as the boy calmly took Edward's hand with not a trace of disgust on his face.

"No trouble at all, Edward, I figured this had to be her though. You were right she does look a lot different, but she's still the same, but then I guess she couldn't change too much, I don't see how Jake didn't see it was her only with . . ." he trailed off, trying not to state the obvious I guess.

He turned to me slowly and waved, he reminded me of a younger brother I would never have; he was nice and innocent . . . so pure.

"Hi Bella." He said. "It's nice to see your doing well, I wasn't going to attack you . . . just to let you know, but I wasn't sure about Jake, so I came just to stop him if things did get out of hand. Sorry about scaring you. "He said smiling down at me again.

I wasn't sure what to say, I guess you could say I was still trying to process what had just happened in the last five minutes or so, but I didn't stay shocked for long as I heard quick steps closing in on me again. I tensed again, but this time I was ready for the on coming threat. I leaned into my crouch as Alice came darting over a branch and tackled me on the ground.

"Relax, Bella, we're not going to hurt you, and by the way that was too easy, you need to learn how to fight."

"Alice, I can take you on, any day, any time . . . I just didn't want to." I finished lamely as she kissed my cheek and jumped off of me.

"I would love to see that sometime…but it would be an unfair match . . . maybe later though." she giggled as she stepped to Jasper's side and whispered in his ear. He smiled slightly and nodded his head at her.

"Or maybe not," he said smiling mischievously at Alice before turning toward Emmett. **"**Are you up for a challenge?" he said.

As the word 'challenge' reached Emmett ears, he hoisted himself off the tree he was leaning on and smiled at Jasper.

"Are you sure you can handle this brother?" he said loudly then laughed at the sight of Jasper rolling his eyes and beckoning him forward.

"I don't think we should start the activities here though." Carlisle said a small playing on his lips as Emmett started to do some vulgar stretches. "Edward, will you accompany Bella toward the clearing, while we get everything ready?" Carlisle said.

My stomach did little flips at the sound of Edwards answer agreeing to his request. Just the thought of spending more time with him was exciting to me. I was beginning to feel a little pathetic, he had such a hold on me, and it had come completely from left field.

All to fast the others left I could hear Emmett making jibes at Jasper as they ran back toward the house. Leaving Edward and I stood with the tall gangly Quileute boy. Seth's smile was broad, he was anticipating what was about to happen.

"Well," Seth said. "I would love to join you, but I better go find Jake. I can only imagine what he's thinking now, he's probably going to need some more clothes . . . those were his last pair of shorts!" he murmured the last part then leaned in to shake Edwards hand again and with one final nod at me he disappeared into the trees.

It didn't hit me that it was only me and Edward until I turned around and saw him staring at me curiously all the frustration gone from his features unlike before.

"What?" I asked raising an eyebrow. My heart jumped in my throat when he looked into my eyes dazzling me yet again. I _was_ pathetic.

"Why did you run away?" he questioned me slowly, still holding that curious expression on his angelic features.

It took a minute to understand what he was saying; I was once again distracted by his voice. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath until I released it, tasting everything in the air including that awful smell once again.

"What is that awful smell?" I said crinkling my nose. Edward began to laugh at my expression.

"It's the werewolves, Jacob and Seth, they smell like that to us and from what I've heard from Seth we don't smell all that pleasant to them either." he said laughing at my expression as I inhaled once again.

I knew I would answer his question eventually, and I was effectively stalling him, but I felt the need to explain more, I just couldn't stomach the stench that surrounded us.

"I know you have questions concerning my reactions earlier, but can we leave from here and get some _non_-werewolf air?"

He laughed again at my request, but nodded and headed east toward, what I could guess was, the clearing Carlisle had mentioned earlier.

The air became less contaminated the further we moved east, the wind was blowing to the west so we were clear of the stench, and I was able to gulp down the fresh breeze clearing my nose, and returning my sense of smell.

"Why did you run away, Bella?" Edward asked, as we ran through the wilderness that was Forks. "Did we scare you? I know our diet can shock people in the beginning, but I've never seen anyone react to it like the way you did." he said shooting me his perfect crooked smile as he dodged a tree.

"It wasn't that I was scared, it was that I came to realize something, something that I had been denying ever since I first came into this life." I said whispering as we jumped over the river and continued forward. I had noticed that Edward was pretty fast when it came to running, but it seemed I was faster as I was constantly slowing down so he could take the lead once more.

"What did you come to realize?" he said looking over his shoulder at me once again. His expression was full of curiosity as he appraised me.

"The fact that I was a monster . . . it's something that I've been trying to run away from. I knew I was a monster since I had to kill just to survive, but I justified my acts because it was my most primal instinct and I didn't know any other way to survive. But then I meet you and your family, and see how you have overcome the monster that rules over you for the rest of your existence. How can I not think I'm a monster when there are people like you, that have found a way to survive without spilling human blood. If I had been able to think of another way to survive without killing innocents, I would have followed it, but it never occurred to me, and now it's too late . . . I can't ever change what I've done. Your family is very different from other vampires I've met in the past. For one, you are a very large group, I've never seen a bigger group then yours, other than the Volturi, of course. But unlike them and others, you don't stay together just for convenience or to gain power . . . it's because of love you stay together, and I never thought anything like this ever existed . . . I needed to be alone to think and gather my thoughts, it was all so new to me, I've never been one that scared easily, but I just needed to think things through."

Edward was quiet during my explanation; I didn't notice we had slowed to a walk until I was finished. From our surroundings I could tell we were far away from any humans, and if any did wander out here they had to be lost.

"You shouldn't have those feelings, Bella." Edward whispered, his voice was full of concern. "Everybody has gone through the same thing as you, but like you said, you can't change the past, you can only work toward the future. Jasper came from different background from the rest of us, he was changed during the southern wars, he became depressed and left. He went through the same thing that you did, but he's accepted it and he's trying his best to change. You know Jasper can feel the emotions surrounding him, this is a climate he likes, and it's calm here."

I looked towards him under my lashes as he spoke, his eyes were watching me as he spoke, waiting for my reaction. When I kept my poker face in place he continued.

"You don't have to leave and be alone; you can stay and practice here. Then you wouldn't have to think of yourself as a monster!" Edward said as we came to the border of a huge clearing surrounded by mountains.

From a distance I could see the rest of the Cullens talking and practicing. Alice and Jasper looked as though they were caught in a confusing dance, Emmett and Rosalie were laughing as they tried to help Jasper. Carlisle stood on the edges but would occasionally dash forwards and try to catch one of the others. Everyone was included in the activity, except for Esme. She was sitting on a rock watching patiently; a small smile on her lips as she appraised her family's antics.

Edward was watching me as I took in the scene in front of me. My eyes were watching the movements, but my mind was processing what he had said. I hadn't forgotten his proposal of me staying with him and his family. As much as I wanted to say yes, I was never one to rush into decisions, sighing audibly, I turned to him.

"Would you mind if I thought it over for a while?" I said looking into his topaz eyes.

He didn't even flinch at the site of my crimson irises as I watched him. How could such an angel be so comfortable being close to a monster like me?

"Of course," he said grinning.

He winked at me before turning around and speeding toward the rest of his family. As I watched him speed across the field toward Alice and stopping by her side I realized he was holding out on me while we were running earlier.

Cheater!

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** AN: So i don't usually ask for a review but I've come to like them more and more ...So if you will  
**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 -

Chapter 9 -

"CRACK, CRACK" I watched on the side lines with Esme while jasper and Emmett continuously charged at each other. Jasper had already come out on top twice but Emmett was persistent and was not going to give up until he was victorious.

"I win' Emmett said loudly, as he lifted off of Jasper and strutted off toward Rosalie his head held high.

Jasper rolled his eyes and walked toward Alice who gave him kiss on the cheek and danced herself into the center of the clearing. After a few seconds of just standing there and eyeing everyone meaningfully she yelled loudly "Aw come on, that is no fair." A small pout protruded her bottom lip.

At her remark the Cullens started snickering lightly or looking at other things except near Alice direction. Not understanding the problem I turned to Esme who was showing the rock we were sitting to much interest.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She turned to me a small smile playing on her lips. "I'm sure by now you know Alice's gift for seeing people decisions," I nodded at her encouraging her to continue.

"Well the others don't like to play with her sometimes because they think its cheating only Jasper will play with her to pacify her and Edward will play with her because he has as much of advantage as her, but she gets tired of them."

I nodded in understanding as I turned my attention back to Alice, who was still sitting in the clearing eyeing Rosalie who was shaking her golden locks at her in defiance. Slowly I turned back to Esme who was now looking at Alice as she walked back to Jaspers side. As I watched her walk slowly to his side I remembered her words from earlier about how I couldn't fight I smiled to myself as I made my decision. Leaping away from my seat near Esme I ran over toward Alice and tackled her from the side. I started to smile as I felt her little body twist and turn in my grasp as we fell back down to the earth. I smiled and looked down at her as she stared up from under me in shock. It took less than a second for the shock expression on her face to wear off before she flipped me off of her, jumped onto her feet and leaned into her crouch. Jumping onto my feet and leaning into my crouch, she flashed a brilliant smile at me before we started to circle each other.

After a while our circling, we came to a stop as she lunged toward me, her eyes sparkling in excitement. I watched her little body fly in the air toward me as I stood in the same position I was in before she made her move. Before her body came into contact with mine I decided to move to my left making her miss me by an inch before she turned and lunged at me again.

We clashed in mid air as she met her mark this time, I felt her small hands grab onto my arm before I broke away. I looked up at Alice who had a look of confusion on her face and couldn't help but smile at her before we started to circle each other again.

I watched her muscles as she shifted her weight to the left and lunged at me from the right. I took my chance to finish this as I stepped away from her grasp once again making a last minute decision. I turned around and caught her arm as she missed me again by a mere inch and pinned her to the ground while placing my teeth near her throat. I could feel her wiggling under my gasp before she sighed in defiance.

"Okay; you made your point you can fight Bella!" She sighed.

I laughed out loud, "I told you, I could take you any day any time."

I lifted myself off of her and turned around to find the rest of the Cullens staring at me with shocked and awed expressions on there faces.

Confused by there expressions, I decided to apologize.

"I'm Sorry," I said quietly as I stepped away from Alice, who was standing next to me.

"Why are you apologizing?" Jasper asked; staring at me with complete fascination etched on his face.

"I knew this was a family activity, I didn't mean to tackle Alice and start a fight with her. I just didn't want her to feel left out." I said.

"That's not why we are shocked," Emmett said laughing. "You just pinned Alice. You pinned the unbeatable pixie!" he said grinning as Alice glared at him. Looking down at her small stature I could understand why she would hate the word 'pixie'.

"How did you manage to dodge her attacks with out her seeing them?" Carlisle asked showing his eagerness for learning anything and everything that was new. I wasn't surprised by the expression of pure interest that lit up his features.

"Well, actually I got the idea from Esme." I said nodding at her, "She had explained to me why the others were hesitant to play with Alice because of her 'gift'. I had actually no intention of fighting her but then she looked so sad when she was walking back to Jasper. So I made the last minute decision to make a move."

"I thought she would have seen my decision, but when I actually pinned her I came up with a theory. If I constantly change my mind, she wouldn't know what I was going to do."

" Since she sees' the decisions people make, if I made the decision to stay still or think about changing my mind to move left or right or back, she wouldn't know until I actually did it. It's all based on chance."

"It wasn't perfect though, Alice is fast, so she got some hits off on me too." I said smiling down at her as she rolled her eyes at me. She wasn't taking loosing so well.

I didn't think it would matter so much that I had beaten Alice, but I was wrong as all the Cullens started to ponder on my latest theory. It was Alice though who broke the silence after she grabbed my arm and pushed me toward Edward's' side.

"If you can beat me, then your next opponent is Edward since he has a disadvantage against you and not the rest of us." she said smiling wickedly.

"What disadvantage?" Rosalie said her eyebrows climbing in confusion as her eyes went from me and Edward.

I had forgotten the rest of the Cullens didn't know about how Edward couldn't hear my thoughts, so I was shocked when Alice told them and Emmett grabbed the collar of my shirt and dragged me into the middle of the clearing.

"I have to see this."

Behind him I could see Jasper tugging Edward along. They faced us together and ran back toward the sidelines with the rest of the family.

"We don't have to do this . . ." Edward said to me quietly, "Jasper and Emmett both have horrid gambling problems, so they're betting on who will come out on top. Neither will be disappointed if we don't commence . . . Well Emmett will, he doesn't want to miss a chance to see me lose at something!"

"We have an eternity," Emmett boomed across the field to us. He grinned at me before settling down in the grass crossing his legs, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his chin in his hands. After finally watching me for another minute he waved his hand to commence the fighting.

I turned my attention back to Edward and inhaled deeply. I was dazzled again by his beauty as he frowned across the field at Emmett. I bit my bottom lip as I contemplated on ways to get out of the situation my freak of a mind put me in. How does one attack an angel? I was sure this was one question that Jeeves wouldn't be able to answer.

"Bella," he said softly bringing me out of thoughts "Shall we?"

I nodded in agreement and watched in fascination as he slid into his crouch becoming a lion. Everything about him was beautiful, if my death had been from him, I think I could have been completely happy, his body moved so gracefully that I was practically mesmerized.

"It's not really a fight if the other person doesn't participate," Edward said mockingly at me, his eyebrows were raised in playful instigation. I was still standing in a casual stance my eyes completely locked in on him; I shook myself out of the trance he unintentionally continually drags me into every time I witness his beauty.

Narrowing my eyes at him I slid into my crouch and watched him as we circled. I could tell he was frustrated by not knowing what I was going to do as he tried to copy my movements. His eyes watched mine closely as I tried to keep myself graceful.

After seeing a opening he lunged at me, I didn't even try to protect myself from his attack, I was to distracted by his grace and beauty the way his muscle rippled under his shirt, they way his thighs tightened as he sprang, it didn't even occur to me what all of this meant until he crashed into me pinning me into the grass.

If I was able to blush, I would've have been scarlet as he straddled my hips and looked down at me with that perfect crooked smile that I was beginning to love. I was distracted by how close we were, so I didn't consider moving until Emmett's loud voice reached my ears across the field "At least try, Bella," he said glumly.

Taking the opportunity of having a clear mind, I rolled over and pinned Edward underneath me taking the place he just occupied. I was mortified at the position I just put us in and hastily jumped off of him ignoring the giggles and snickering which I could only think were coming from Alice and Rosalie. I felt transparent as my movements betrayed me.

Edward looked frustrated that I could pin him so easy, I smiled at him as I slid back into my crouch.

"I can tell this is not going to be so easy," he said more to himself as he slid back into his stance.

Being on guard I was prepared when he lunged at me again aiming at my side. We had clashed at each other, the other always blocking the others movements, neither one of us coming out on top for more than a second before the other countered the attack.

I ran toward him aiming for his arm so I could pull him over my back leaving him on the ground and unguarded. I grabbed his wrist and the collar of his shirt to try to heave him over but he was to fast – way to fast. So when he moved out of my grasp his shirt tore right down the middle showing his fantastic chest. I was almost completely distracted by the sight.

I dropped the torn piece of fragment in my hand in shock as he laughed at my expression.

"No worries, there's plenty more where that came from, Bella, and I'm sure Alice can replace it if not."

I watched as he took the rest of the torn fabric off of him and threw it somewhere. I bit my bottom lip as I tried to keep my eyes desperately away from wandering over his exposed chest. He was Adonis; there was no question about it.

"Bella shall we continue?" he asked, his velvet voice flowed through me, causing me to stifle a shiver.

Nodding slowly I slid back into my crouch. I had little time to react before he lunged at me again, my reaction time had drastically slowed, some how he was behind me and I was pinned face to the ground, his teeth at my throat. It was too much he was already half-naked, and now his lips were an inch a way from neck.

While Emmett complained about how Edward cheated by the 'shirt act' as he called it, I wondered did this man know the reactions and emotions that stirred within me. I stayed on the ground until I heard Alice come up to me and laughing my ear.

"Well that was interesting, I find it odd how I saw that you were going to win until his shirt was removed and then you automatically stopped trying . . . care to explain?" she said, a fit of giggles trying to burst out of her.

I glared at her from beneath my hair that had came out of it's ponytail before I jumped up and started to dust off the earth that was on my clothes.

"Well, I beat you, which has to count for something." I said smiling as the smile slid off her face as when I pulled out my victory over her.

"But still…." she said "You should've seen your face when you rolled on top of him, it was priceless" She was still snickering at me as we all made our way back to the house.

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**AN: so it might be moving a tad bit slow but more excitement is on the way ...leave me some reviews helps me not to procrastinate  
**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - I had always been a worrier when I was human and it seems that since my change, this part of me enhanced greatly, just like everything else

Chapter 10 -

I had always been a worrier when I was human and it seems that since my change, this part of me enhanced greatly, just like everything else.

"How could I be so stupid" I whispered hastily to myself as I continued my pace from one side of the room to the other "He probably hates me now, what if that was his favorite shirt or something and I know everybody saw I how reacted to him and his half nakedness"

I closed my eyes and plopped myself on the couch set in my room as I replayed Edwards beauty in my minds eye, I couldn't help but smile when the sun came out from the clouds just for a minute and his body sparkled like a million diamonds. I longed to reach my hands out and trace his chiseled abs with my fingers. I couldn't help the sighs that escaped my lips as I opened my eyes to the reality in front of me. I could hear the others in different areas of the house.

Emmett was in the family room, I could hear the baseball game he was watching. The Yankees' were up by 2 against the Sox. I laughed quietly to myself as he growled in frustration as the score changed, yet again, into the Yankees' favor. I knew I couldn't hold off the inevitable, I had to apologize to Edward sooner or later or I was never going to feel better about it. I was anxious to see him again, but I had no idea how to voice my apology to make it at least sound sincere.

Deep in my mind I knew I wasn't as sorry as I should have felt, but my more rational side always won in situations such as these. I rose from the couch and made my way to the door, I was going to find Edward, and I had no idea where his room was so I would have to do some 'adventuring' . . . _how exciting_.

I made my way out of the room and into the hallway. I knew enough that the room next to mine was Alice and Jasper's I could her running around doing …Only god knows what. I smiled as I walked pass their room. I had never met anyone like Alice, she was truly one of a kind, and I knew that when I did leave here we would keep in contact.

As I continued my walk down to the front room, thinking maybe Edward was down there with Emmett watching the game, I heard the most beautiful sound of music ever coming from the opposite end of the hall away from the staircase. My search for Edward would have to wait until I found where this beautiful music was coming from.

I hated that since my change I was always easily distracted, but I shook off my annoyance to myself as I silently crept closer to the door the music was coming from. Slowly I opened the door and looked inside; Edward was sitting with his back to me as he played this magnificent piano set in the corner of his room. His fingers floated over the keys in a ghostly manner as he continued the beautiful piece he was playing. I was in utter awe when he stopped and raised his head turning around to face me confusion etched on his beautiful features once again. I had killed two birds with one stone it seemed, I had found the source of the beautiful music and the man I was longing to see and, to my chagrin, apologize to.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to disturb you." I said hastily. I didn't want him to be mad at me, but I watched in awe as his features transformed into a breath taking smile.

"No please, accept my apology, Bella. I'm not accustomed to not hearing anyone's thoughts, and you just surprised Me." he said flashing his perfect grin at me again.

It was a minute before I had realized I never replied back. I was still struggling with his smile and the sound of my name coming out of his lips like a melody.

"Um…" I started lamely as I tried to form a sentence in my coherent thoughts, "I actually came to apologize." I said softly, taking a peek out from under my hair that hung around my face. "I didn't mean to tear your shirt; I can replace it if you want."

I was shocked to hear him laugh and muss my hair with little waves of energy that traveled over me as his skin came in contact with mine.

"Don't worry," he said, as he took one finger and tilted my chin up toward his. If I was able to blush I'm sure I would've had my customary shade of red like always.

"You look thirsty." he said as I inhaled his scent. Until now, I wasn't paying attention to my thirst, but now that it was mentioned I could feel the unmistakable fire in the back my throat.

I'm sure my eyes had to be as black as endless pools when he looked into them. What he said next though made me feel the disgust with myself that I felt ever since finding out how they handled their thirst in ways that had tortured them just like it did for me.

"I can take you out somewhere to hunt, but I can't let you hunt in Forks, unfortunately" he said with a grim smile.

I watched in horror as my fears were confirmed. He_ did _think of me as a monster. Did he think that after what I learned that I would still keep to the more _traditional _diet?

I never would, but even the thought of him thinking that about me, made me cringe in horror. I was horrified enough with myself, I hated that he thought the same way. I watched as Edwards eyebrows came together.

"Did you think I would go back to the same diet after what I just learned?" I whispered quietly to him as his eyebrows relaxed "I don't want to be a monster."

His eyes softened and he pulled his hand away from under my chin.

"Would you like to try our way of hunting then?" he spoke softly his eyes smoldering as his scent washed over me again. "I can accompany you . . . if you don't mind."

I smiled at the thought of learning to hunt with him. Before I could answer I heard light footsteps coming toward us. Alice had stopped in front of us. Her eyes sparkling with intrigue as she assessed the scene in front of her "If you're going hunting; then I'm coming too." she said flashing that brilliant smile at us.

"Then it's settled," Edward said, as he motioned us toward the stair case.

"What's settled?" Emmett asked as he walked up the stairs with Jasper. I figured the Sox lost because didn't have his usual jovial grin spread across his face.

"We're taking Bella hunting." Alice explained, excitement showing all over her features.

"Well if you're going hunting, then I'm coming." Emmett said, his smile returning as Jasper nodded in agreement

"I'll be right back I'll go ask Rose if she wants to come to" Emmett finished as he dashed off towards his bedroom.

"We'll be in the car," Edward spoke to Emmett in the general area he had retreated from.

Edward turned toward the staircase and led us towards the garage. I hadn't really taken a good look at the cars when I first arrived, but I felt my jaw drop when Edward came to a huge red Jeep. It was monstrous, from the tires that were higher than my waist, to the shiny metal guards over the headlights and taillights, and to the four spotlights attached to the crash bar. How did I miss _this_ when we pulled in? I was still looking in wonder at the monster jeep in front of me when Emmett came behind me and placed his huge hand on my shoulder. I turned to look up at him seeing a mock expression of awe on face before he whispered quietly in fascination "She's beautiful isn't she" he walked toward the Rose and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I was actually thinking about the car" I said as I stood still in awe at the monstrosity "Oh this.." he said before lightly stroking his hand on the side "Rose does a lot of work on all of our cars, it's her thing I guess you can say" He said smiling before jumping into the drivers seat, while Rosalie leapt into the passenger seat. It was then that I noticed I was the only one not in the car. I hurriedly ran to the side of the car and jumped in next to Alice who smiled at me before cuddling up against Jasper's side.

I turned to look out at the scenery of Forks as we sped around the trees down the Cullen drive, at a speed any normal human would not be capable of doing.

The ride was mainly quiet as we sped toward our unknown destination. Every now and then Edward would start to hum to himself and Emmett would turn around and smile at him. Edward glared out of his window and clenched and unclenched his fist at this gesture. Jasper would then put a calm wave over us and everything would settle down again. It was bizarre to say the least but I was surprised how comfortable I was becoming.

After traveling for a while, I decided to ask where we going since I had no idea and everybody else probably did. I hated surprises and hoped that they wouldn't want to spring this as one.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, as seven pairs of topaz eyes flashed toward me.

"Goat Rocks Wilderness." Emmett said, his voice booming. "It's just south of Mt. Rainer" I frowned in confusion and before I could think about my reply my mouth had started to move on its own accord.

"Why would we go there? I heard it's full of bears and Mountain Lions . . ." I trailed off as Alice looked at me and coked an eyebrow, making me hyper aware that I had once again missed the obvious.

"Oh yeah." I said smiling and putting my head down to hide my embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed." Jasper said to me in his heavy southern accent, smiling and he leaned over his wife. "It can take some time to get used to it."

With the crescent markings adorning his neck, face, and arms, not to mention the heavy Texan accent, it wasn't hard to notice that Jasper came from the South before he came up here. I couldn't help but tense at his closeness a little before Alice gave me a reassuring smile when he leaned back and she cuddled more into his embrace. Left to my thoughts I wondered about Jaspers past and what had happened to him, but many vampires never liked to share there history and I figured it would be rude to ask. He probably grew tired of all the wars that were down in the south, some still raging away from the human eyes, I remembered all that I had heard from past associates, and I couldn't blame him if that was the case even with the my short time being here I could tell that living with the Cullens was quite peaceful.

Seeing as I had lived in Forks when I was human, I knew how long it should take to drive from Forks to Goat Rocks, but as I had looked at the speedometer a few times, I wasn't surprised when we pulled off the main road to a dirt road in a less than the normal fifteen hour drive.

It was Monday, late afternoon, when we pulled away from the house and now it was early morning Tuesday. I wasn't jostled in my seat as I would have been when I was human. We rolled over the uneven path away from the road so we wouldn't run into any humans near by. There were some tight spots when the trees came closer together, if it hadn't been for my advanced eyesight I would have never thought that the Jeep would have fit through the spaces.

We drove deeper into the forest until Emmett stopped and turned the Jeep off bringing silence to the engine and the forest surrounding us. We each jumped out, and I watched as the Cullens started to inhale the fresh air that surrounded us.

"What time should we get back?" Rosalie said, addressing Edward.

"It's going to be sunny today, so we really can't go anywhere. So I figured we can stay here." Alice said, as she looked up at the early morning sky and sighed.

"Well, since the sun will make an appearance, we will leave at dusk. Is that ok with everybody?" Edward asked, and each of them responded with a nod and took off in pairs.

Emmett and Rosalie running south with a backpack on Emmett's back, Jasper and Alice turned south with a similar bag on Jaspers back leaving me and Edward alone. He stood leaning against the Jeep looking like a Greek Adonis with a similar bag the other two had, just the sight of him took my breath away. I watched each of his muscles flex as he pushed himself away from the Jeep, hoisted the bag over his shoulders and came over to stand in front of me, his golden eyes full of inquisitive fascination.

"I'm quite sure I will not have to teach you how to hunt. Am I correct?" he asked in his perfect formal articulation. I sighed internally at his voice as I nodded my head in response.

"Well, let's get started. Close your eyes, please." he requested softly. I could feel him circling me as I closed my eyes and inhaled.

There were many things I could hear and smell. The tree's moving in the light breeze, the smell of dew on the grass from the last rain, a babbling brook somewhere to my left about three miles out. It smelled disgusting, there was also another smell that I wasn't to keen on. I wrinkled my nose up as it started to move closer to Edward and me. I opened my eyes to see Edward laughing quietly to himself at my expression.

"It can take some time to get used to." he chuckled quietly, before shifting into a crouch and motioning me to follow him.

As we got closer to the animals, I could hear the beat of their heart and though the smell of their blood was disgusting, venom still pooled my mouth as the thought of its warm blood, and the acceleration of his heartbeat was almost hypnotic as we made our approach.

I crept closer moving around a bush as I watched Edward hunt down the animal, which I then noticed was two huge male caribou licking at the grass. I figured we had to be extra quiet of not scaring the animal away considering how Edward was ghosting his moves toward his prey. It stopped and looked around, as if it were sensing the danger that was in front of him. Edward then motioned me closer to him and whispered in my ear. I froze slightly as his breath tickled my ear. "Would you like for me to show you first or do you think you can do it yourself?" he whispered

I nodded, not taking my eyes off the largest two and regained composure I hastily whispered "dibs." and leapt from my hiding place and tackled the largest before snapping its neck quickly before letting my teeth tear through the muscle and tissue.

I was right, it was disgusting, it had more of an earthy taste and I almost gagged, but it was still quenching the fire that was in my throat so I was content. I watched Edward as I cleaned up my mess; he leapt from his space after me toward the other caribou that had attempted to escape and tackled it bringing it roughly down under him. He was strong and confident when he snapped the neck of the other caribou and brought its neck to his teeth. He was beautiful when he was hunting, I pondered on just following him around and watching him all day while ignoring my own thirst.

After hiding the caribou under some bushes where scavenger animals would probably find them, Edward turned to me smiling.

"Well, what did you think?"

I didn't want to disappoint him, but I never lied before in my life or even in this existence.

"Disgusting!" I said bluntly.

His smile grew even wider as he looked at me, I was sure his cheek bones would break

"I know its nothing compared to human blood, but it works, and the herbivores taste a little less appetizing than the carnivores." he said flashing me another one of his dazzling smiles as he turned and ran father into the woods.

So, he had decided to let me have the least appetizing first. I smiled at my own admission and followed him deeper into the forest convinced that I would find something that would taste better.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11-

It was coming from the east, I could smell a hint of it as me and Edward ran through the forest. The flavor was more appealing than the moose that I had so I didn't hesitate as I angled my body toward it. I could feel Edward as he followed behind me in my haste to find the source of whatever I had found. As I came closer the scent became stronger and I lowered my self into my crouch before taking refuge behind a tree I could hear its soft padded feet making there way away toward me.

Slowly, I could see the mountain lion that was, like me, hunting a fox. The fox had another day to live as I leapt over the bush and collided with the mountain lion. I could feel its claws leaving no purchase on my skin as I wrestled it to the ground burying my teeth in its neck. Edward was right carnivores were better though they weren't as appetizing or filling as human blood was, I knew the sacrifice was worth it. With a little gurgle from the mountain lion I pulled my head back licking my lips so I didn't miss a single drop.

Edward was standing near the tree I had left him at; fist clenched and jaw set he looked at me. His stance was something confusing as if he wanted to protect something, I watched as how the fire in his eyes relaxed as he continued to stare at the drained mountain lion that lay on the side of me.

Then abruptly he smiled at me and slung the bag that he had been carrying off his shoulder. Reaching in, he picked out a blue sweatshirt and handed it to me. Confused I looked up at him - his eyes never leaving my own- and then the shirt he was offering in his hand, my eyes traveling back to him and the object before I noticed my shirt was torn into shreds because of the mountain lion. _Humans didn't have claws_. I felt embarrassed as I failed miserably to cover myself shielding my eyes so he wouldn't see so much of me. I could hear his feet making light steps toward I dared not to look up. Still walking toward me he handed me the shirt.

"You don't have to hide from Me." he said slowly smiling that beautiful crooked grin I loved.

With no hesitation I grabbed the shirt and quickly pulled it over my head not bothering to take off the other clawed one.

"How did you know?" I asked quietly, my head still down making my brown locks created a curtain around me. With one finger he lifted my head so our eyes were connected once again I and I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs..._again_.

"Alice" he said simply "Though we normally don't bring clothes with us this was your first time, I figured it would be better to bring more for you." he admitted with a small grin.

Barely registering his words I was lost in his gaze and his beauty, I could feel a slight tingle in my lips licking them to only find that didn't and would never help. I knew only he could ever rid of the aggravating tingling so I waited in anticipation and foolish hope as he leaned in closer toward me.

I heard them coming before Edward did so regretfully I turned my face away from his as I saw Emmett bounding in the trees toward us, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper at his side. Slowly Edward took his finger away from my face disappointment in his eyes as he stepped away from me putting space between us. Once again I looked down shielding my eyes away from his family only looking up when Emmett said something.

"Well?" Emmett said smiling mischievously, his eyes bouncing between Edward and I. "We were wondering if Bella would like to see me do my famous bear wrestling." he announced in his booming voice sticking his chest out and putting his hands on his waist like he was an over size Superman. I couldn't help but smiled at his little act.

"Of course you don't have to come if you don't want, you can stay and ki…." My smile instantly broke as Emmett came close to finishing his sentence. I was thankful Rose was kind enough to smack him up side the head before he could finish though; it did look like it was quite painful as he rubbed the spot on his head where the act took place.

"Anyway," Jasper continued smiling at his brother. "It's getting late, and we should be heading back now. I'm sure Emmett can show you at another time, Bella. Has everyone hunted?"

I frowned slightly at his request at leaving; it was getting late but because of me Edward wasn't able to hunt much since he was busy showing me the ropes. I felt selfish for taking away his opportunity but also a little anger because he wouldn't let me do it on my own he stayed the whole time.

"Edward wasn't able to hunt much." I said quietly looking over to see him and his eyes that were only slightly a brighter gold, but he just shrugged it off.

"I'm fine," he said "I can hold off until next weekend when we go hunting again." and with that, he pulled out the jeep keys and grinned over at Emmett who was looking at him pleading with his eyes. "You're on." Edward called out before taking off in the direction of the jeep, Emmett hot on his trail.

We had arrived at the house in the early morning. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett made their way to their respective rooms, while I sat outside under the early sky looking at the stars before the sun made its appearance. I could hear Edward banging a melody on the piano to drown out the sounds of passion coming from the two couple's rooms this had to be such a aggravating to him since he could read minds and hear what they were doing. But I had to admit I was quite disturbed too; especially with the rattling and banging coming from Rosalie and Emmett's room the way they were going the house would be in dust by the time they were done.

The stars in the sky were bright. Since Forks was such a small town you didn't have to worry about bright city lights taking away from the natural beauty of stars. I was still sitting there when dawn came and I heard light foot steps coming toward me from behind.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Carlisle noted as he too watched the sun make its grand appearance of the day behind the clouds. I nodded in agreement my skin starting to sparkle faintly in the sunlight "Before I moved to Forks, I remember living in Phoenix with my mom." I said softly, "I remember I loved the sun and I despised Forks because the sun never made an appearance as much as it did in Phoenix" Carlisle's silence was a nudge for me to continue.

"I remember coming up here for summer breaks, and then after a while forcing Charlie to spend time with me in California so I could at least be away from gloomy sunless Forks. But now I don't get to see the sun as much as I would like to, since I'm always running and hiding away from it . . . I miss the sun." I finished as I continued to watch the fiery orb make its way up higher in the sky.

The sun wasn't that high in the sky when I looked over at Carlisle, I was shocked to see his briefcase in his hand. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as he laughed at my expression.

"I won't let a sunny day keep me away to long from work." he explained flashing a brilliant smile and rolling his sleeves down to cover his sparkling arms "Also, Dr. Welsh's wife is going into labor, so I'm filling in for him."

I nodded thoughtfully, letting him continue.

"Humans have such a short time with their loved ones, unlike us. I would like to give him time to be with his family as much as he can before it's too late." he admitted, before he walked off in the direction of the garage.

I could hear the faint purr of the Mercedes when another pair of footsteps came toward me from behind. I smelled his heavenly scent and relished in it before he sat down beside me and watched as the sun finish the performance of its daily ritual. A sigh escaped my lips when it was finished, and I leaned forward putting my elbows on my knees and face in my hands.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see Edward starring at me, he grinned as my gaze met his taking my breath away. It was silent as I continued to avert my gaze to anything and everything that wasn't Edward, while he continued making me uncomfortable by his never faulting gaze. Finally after ten minutes of playing coy, I groaned in frustration turning my attention toward him.

"Would you like to share what has you so interested in me?" I asked my frustration disappearing when his smile grew.

"You're beautiful." he affirmed simply, keeping up his latest habit.

I bit my lip at his statement and put my head down, I was shocked by his words but a warming feeling I had never felt before filled me. Starting in my chest it working its way to my toes. I looked up at him and smiled as brightly as I could.

"Thank you," I said shyly. "But I think you have me mistaken with someone else."

His answering smile took my breath away yet again, and I wondered aimlessly if I was ever going to stop suffocating myself whenever he smiled, it was one of the most beautiful sights I had seen, and considering how much traveling I had done, it was the greatest compliment I could give him.

"You know," he began, his voice playful. "You don't see yourself very clearly."

With that, he jumped up his hand held out to me, his breathtaking smile still plastered on his handsome face. I eyed his hand warily before grabbing it and letting him pull me up so we were facing one another.

"Would you like to see where I go when the day is sunny?" he asked, blowing his scent toward me again.

"Sure?" I said quietly, inwardly reprimanding myself for answering him as though it were a question. I leaned in to breathe in his heavenly scent again. Before I knew what happened- well I knew what happened – he slung me over onto his back, jumped off the porch and ran into the trees.

I didn't know whether to be angry at him for thinking I couldn't run by myself, or be shocked at how close our proximity was. I chose the latter.

"I'm capable of running you know, Edward." I said out loud as he jumped over fallen trees and misplaced branches. I heard his laughter echo around us before he answered me

"Of course you can, Bella" he answered, laughter still in his voice "but it would be quicker this way, I know where we're going."

He then slowed down into a jog. A comfortable silence fell between us as he continued to jump over logs, rocks and other things that littered the forest floor. While still traveling deeper in to the forest I looked down with my eyes and saw all the little things that, if I was human, I would've broken my neck trying to walk over. I tried to suppress a giggle as I remembered my clumsiness, how I couldn't walk two steps without injuring myself in some way. Hearing my laughter Edward turned his head toward me

"What's so funny?" he asked, a small smile playing around his lips. My amusement seemed to keep his mood elevated. I smiled back and relayed to him my thoughts. Admitting how clumsy I had once been when I was human. I was confused when the smile on his lips went away allowing A small frown on his lips before he spoke again.

"That's ironic, because I happen to find you quite graceful" he said turning his around back in front of him.

He then stopped and reached a hand behind him to help me down. Never letting go of my hand he pulled me toward the perfect circle that was filled with a beautiful span of different colored of wild flowers that was bathed in the sun. I gasped in delight as I pulled him forward faster, finding myself in the middle of the perfectly symmetrical meadow in less than a second. I drank in the beauty of the meadow as I slowly turned around committing everything to memory, filing it away for later. I turned to see Edward watching me a glorious gleam in his eyes. I gasped as I took in the way he sparkled, he looked like an angel.

"Do you like it?" He asked suddenly, stepping closer toward me running a soft finger down my sparkling arm. For the first time in my existence, human or otherwise, I was lost for words.

"How?" I asked softly as I looked into his golden eyes.

"I overheard your conversation with Carlisle" he admitted before he settled himself in the grass lying utterly still.

I lowered myself down next to him and crossed my legs; I could have stayed like that forever. Just sitting beside him, watching him sparkle in all his fantastic glory. He was so beautiful and I loved him with all my heart, but I would never confess my affection towards him, I was too afraid of his rejection.

I felt relief sweep over me as I once again admitted how much I loved him, even though it was only to myself. I wondered if I did confess my love for him how would he react. Would he let me down gently considering he was such the gentlemen? Or would he share the same feelings for me as I did for him?

I started to daydream on how my existence would be if Edward did love me. I let my emotions soar as the images flickered in my subconscious. Edward opened one eye to look at me.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked quietly.

I didn't even know that there was a small smile on my lips until he mentioned it. I quickly composed my face before I answered him.

"I can't be happy?" I asked watching as he set up and crossed his legs in front of him mimicking my stance.

"Maybe I should rephrase my question, what are you _thinking _about?"

I pondered on my answer, I could tell him the truth or I could lie. I preferred the latter but in fewer words.

"Everything . . ." I said quietly as I looked into his eyes, feeling the familiar feelings of adoration as I got lost in them.

"Would you care to elaborate?" he said, flashing his perfect crooked grin at me again

There was nothing else to do, it was now or never. If he didn't feel the same way as I did, I would leave so I would not cause him discomfort in his home, but I knew that wherever I journeyed, I would always love him and I would never forget him, even if it was possible that I could. I loved him too much to let him go.

"I love you!" I whispered.

* * *

**AN: Yeah i know condemn me if you like lol **

**But i promise i would update this chapter faster ; that cliff hanger is going to have me opening hate mail **

**But leave reveiws it helps we work faster and not procrastinate so much**.


	12. Chapter 12

1 _Ending of Chapter 11_

"_What are you smiling about?" he asked quietly. _

_I didn't even know that there was a small smile on my lips until he mentioned it. I quickly composed my face before I answered him._

"_I can't be happy?" I asked watching as he sits up and crossed his legs in front of him mimicking my stance. _

"_Maybe I should rephrase my question, what are you thinking about?" _

_I pondered on my answer, I could tell him the truth or I could lie. I preferred the latter but in fewer words. _

"_Everything . . ." I said quietly as I looked into his eyes, feeling the familiar feelings of adoration as I got lost in them. _

_"Would you care to elaborate?" he said, flashing his perfect crooked grin at me again_

_There was nothing else to do, it was now or never. If he didn't feel the same way as I did, I would leave so I would not cause him discomfort in his home, but I knew that wherever I journeyed, I would always love him and I would never forget him, even if it was possible that I could. I loved him too much to let him go._

"_I love you!" I whispered._

__________________________________________________________________________

I sat looking into his eyes anxiously awaiting his reaction to the three words and eight letters that announced how much I felt when I was with him. How I felt a shock of electricity whenever we would touch, how if he smiled . . . I would go breathless, or how hearing him laugh made the world a brighter place.

It seemed like I was waiting for decades just watching him waiting for his reply, but I didn't mind, I used this time to commit every inch of his angelic face to memory. If he didn't feel the same way then I could see his flawless face in my minds eye.

I didn't feel any regret for telling him, no matter what he said in response. But as more time passed, I started to feel sick, something I hadn't felt in such a long time. Edward was still staring at me as I made to stand up, but before I could move my leg, even the slightest, he grabbed my wrist keeping me in a position that if I was human would probably hurt my knees.

There was an electric pulse running through my system where his hand connected to my wrist, fear and exhilaration ran through my veins. Even now, when I wasn't sure what the future held in store for me, he could affect me, my mind swirled as I tried to keep my breathing even. I watched him as closely as I could through my peripheral vision, waiting for something, _anything, _to happen. Edward leaned in towards me, his face, his chest; I froze in place as I watched him slowly close the gap between us, putting him closer to me than he had ever had before.

"Do you mean it"? He whispered, blowing his heavenly scent over me.

Leaning in toward his scent, I whispered. "With all my being."

Before the last word left my mouth his lips crashed into mine. Our lips moving in a perfect sync; I flung my hands around his neck digging my fingers through his hair to bring him closer. The kiss was full of caution to begin with, but as the electricity grew between us I could feel the deeper urgency of his lips against mine, his tongue traced my bottom lip and I willingly opened my mouth letting our tongues dance together.

I was in heaven; it was so much more than I could have ever imagined. I could feel one of his hands as it locked into my hair, while the other held my face securely to his. My chest was rising and falling in my breathlessness, the intensity had brought back some of those troublesome human inconveniences, but I could kiss him all day, and since that was the case, he pulled away first kissing my lips once, twice, three times before whispering those three words I thought would be utterly impossible to hear from those perfect lips.

"I love you, too"

It felt like my dead heart would burst if capable. I was speechless, how could this perfect being love me? Surely it couldn't be as much as I loved him? That was simply too much to ask, having him love me was enough.

My face was still being held in Edward hands, his thumbs brushing soothing patterns on my cheeks. I wanted to fall into him and lose myself, stop time and hold this moment forever. I reached my hand up to his face. I wanted to touch his cheek. When I did, I marveled at how smooth his ivory skin felt beneath my hand; how it fit the inside of my cupped hand perfectly . . . like it was made just to cradle his cheek.

Bombs could have fallen and the world could be in turmoil around us, but I would never have noticed, because my world was staring at me, his warm, intriguing golden eyes holding me willingly captive, and that was all that mattered.

I felt like I could stay in this position, but I was certain, had anyone seen us, they would have been perplexed at the scene in front of them, my legs were bent in a half kneeling position as though I had frozen halfway to the ground, Edward towered over me in the same position.

Not that either of us cared as we stared at one another, it was a s though we were seeing one another with new eyes, we stood in that awkward position and drank one another in. Occasionally, Edward's eyes would ignite, and his hand would run from my cheek to my collarbone, and without warning, he would swipe his lips across mine, causing my breath to hitch.

It was well in the night when Edward stood up, he held out his hand in a chivalrous gesture to lift me up to my feet. I had a feeling I would never get used to that small jolt of fire between us when we touched, it seemed to renew the swooning emotion inside of me.

"We should head back, I'm sure the others are worried." he whispered hesitantly.

I had forgotten about the rest of his family, I had been lost in a small universe where only Edward and I existed, for the last few hours it was just me and Edward, lost in our declaration of love for one another, nobody else seemed to have existed, but when he did bring up his family, I felt a shimmer of terror and I slammed back down into my realty.

How would his family react to this news? They had liked me before, I was certain of that, but would they think I wasn't good enough for Edward? Would they want me to leave?

I could handle that, I felt my dead heart jerk in my chest as I lied to myself, but I would _not_ tear Edward away from his family. Unfortunately, I couldn't see myself without him either now, these last couple of hours had been the highlight of my dull, meaningless life, how could I ever let that go?

Seeing the terror in my eyes, Edward answered my inner worries. "It'll be fine, Bella, they already like you. Plus, they think I've been alone for far too long. They all worry about me, but they won't say it aloud they forget I can already hear it."

He lifted one finger up to his head and started tapping his temple, a breathtaking smile on his features on his full, pale lips.

"You'll be like a gift from above" he chuckled lightly. "Which is what you are . . . an angel."

The love and adoration filled his topaz eyes as he beamed at me. Then, he leaned down toward me and placed a soft kiss on my lips, it lasted only a second but it threw my mind into a swirl of colors. I tried to shake off the sensation as he took my hand and swung me up onto his back, heading towards the house.

He didn't run as fast as he did earlier, I had the feeling he had felt the same way I did, that he wanted to hold on to the little time we had alone together before we went back to his home. After all, it wouldn't be just the two of us any more.

Edward let me off his back when he jumped onto the porch. He and I walked inside holding hands. I could feel the fear that almost incapacitated me, rising within me like my blushes had when I was human, but the small connection of our hands held off the deer in the headlights freeze I was waiting for.

Carlisle and Esme where in the living room, she was leaning on his chest as they read a book together; his arms were wrapped around her, he whispered sweet nothings in her ear, causing a dazzling smile to grace her features. Esme looked up at us as we walked in; her smile became broader as her eyes traveled to our interlocked hands. Edward nodded his head at them before leading us up the magnificent staircase that was in there home.

On our way upstairs, we passed Rosalie who smirked at us, narrowing her eyes at our hands. The fear began scratching and clawing its way to the surface again, but Edward squeezed my hand gently in encouragement before growling softly at her. Rosalie rolled her eyes at the sound, neither fear or remorse showing on her beautiful features. She turned and walked away quickly as he led me past her. We climbed the next set of stairs and slipped quietly into his room closing the door behind us.

"Rosalie doesn't like me, does she?" I whispered; Anxiousness coloring my tone.

Edward turned around and crossed the room toward me, I was in his arms and the panic began falling away silently. He cradled my head against his chest as he buried his face into my hair.

"Rosalie doesn't like change." He said. "But she'll get used to it."

A small smile played on his lips as he held me away from him and searched my eyes for confirmation that I had accepted this as the truth. I smiled at him broadly, knowing that this would just keep us closer together. He led me to his couch and sat me on it, his hands disappeared from mine, it felt so odd, since I had professed my love for him, we had been touching in some small capacity the entire time, now I felt cold, and lost. I tried to shake off the feeling and get a hold of myself. I was being neurotic.

Edward grabbed the remote that was sitting on the couch and pointed it toward the stereo in the corner of the room. He sat next to me as Clair de Lune started to play, filling his room with the melodic piano notes. The sound was so clear it felt like I was sitting somewhere where they were actually playing it in front of me.

"Clair De Lune?' I said cocking one eyebrow.

"You know the classics." he said, raising one of his eyebrows in return.

I turned my head back toward his window, letting the music fill me with the calm I felt I had lost with my transformation. With my eyes I could see every little detail, even if there wasn't a lot of light.

"My mother introduced me to classical music, she enjoyed the classics. I can only remember some of my favorites though." I paused, thinking about what I had just said. "Put an emphasis on 'some' though." I sighed. "I can't even remember my mothers face"

That was one thing I hated about this existence, all the things that were important, the memories you wanted to keep with you, and they slipped through your fingers like water. The dull eyes of my human existence hadn't printed the images on my mind like my vampire sight had; they faded a little more every day. Thinking about my mother bought on a question for Edward, I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask. I was trying to not be rude, and I certainly didn't want to offend him, but sometimes my mouth had a mind of its own.

"HowOldAreYou?" The words rushed out strewn together to make one confusing sound, as soon as it had escaped my lips, my hand darted out, covering my mouth. Edward laughed at my expression and took my hand away from my mouth kissing my knuckles.

"It's rude to ask people their age!" he said chuckling, while I hid my behind my hair. "I'm one-hundred and eight"

He said it simply, like it was normal for anybody to be that old, well in our world I guess it was.

"Carlisle?" I asked. To that, he smiled brightly before answering.

"Three-hundred and sixty."

I felt my jaw drop. It answered so many questions. I bet he had many things, possessions, memories, experiences. I would love to ask him questions about everything he had witnessed throughout history, but it was just rude to go peeping through people you barely even knew.

Edward, who must have seen I was suffering as I tried to contain all the questions I had, simply took a hold of my hand, pulled me from the couch, and led me toward Carlisle's office, that was located on the second floor.

Edward knocked gently on the door before walking in. For the second time that day the muscles in my jaw became slack as I looked around at all the books that where in Carlisle's office. He was behind a huge antique desk reading a book with thousands of page when we entered. Before looking up at us he carefully set a bookmark in place before he smiled at us and our still interlocked hands.

"Yes?" he said looking at Edward. I'm sure he could have talked to him through his thoughts, but I figured maybe he thought it was rude to leave me out of the conversation seeing as I was standing in the room.

"Bella had a few questions she would like to ask since she didn't hear the rest of your story earlier."

I hid my face behind him as I thought how I abruptly left when he was telling me history. Carlisle smiled at me warmly.

"Its fine, it was a lot to taking in at one time. Please, feel free to make yourself comfortable." He said, gesturing to Edward and me to two comfortable chairs in front of his work desk.

"I was just wondering about all of the things you've seen in your years."

I hid my face under my hair, afraid to see his reaction. Carlisle smiled at me and then launched in a story of all the things he seen, like how he had become friends with the brothers of the Volturi, how the humans and he reacted to technology and medicine as it progressed over in the years. It was mind reeling talking to someone who was alive when the light bulb was made or during the important wars. It felt like I was being taken back in time, Carlisle was a great story teller.

As I sat there Edwards hand intertwined with mine, I registered the warm feeling it created within me, and I felt like I had finally found somewhere I belonged, somewhere I never had to leave Edward's side and he would never have to leave mine

I felt like I was at home.

A luxury I hadn't the pleasure of knowing in a long time.

**AN: Ok Hi everybody i hope everybody had a great halloween. Me and some friends went trick or treating and i decided to go as as a Georgia Voter**

**that is CREATIVITY and all i had to have was a sticker for the costume. But anyhoo leave some reviews and tell me what you think i know this chapter is pretty shortbut with school and work i cant find much time to write .... i cant even find time to sleep lol. Oh and i like to thank people for reveiwing the last chapter i didnt get as much HATE MAIL that i thought i would recieve and you guys made my day.**

**Oh i have a new idea for a story but its pretty complicated so ill post a summary and see what you guys thinks 'my beta' likes it but i want to know what other people thinks to**

**And speaking of my Beta READ THE STORY BD: IMMORTAL SOULS its complete so you dont have to wait that gruling wait when something good happens its one of my favorite stories and theres FIGHTING who doesnt like to see a good fight j/k**

**Anyhoo leave reviews and ill and read the summary of the new story and tell me what you think  
**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I was still sitting in Carlisle's office when I heard the footsteps accompanied with the scent and slight breeze that let me know beforehand that Alice was in the room.  
I turned in my seat to see that my pixie like friend who was vibrating with only I could think was excitement as she looked at me. Edward who turned to look at his sister was smiling at her with slight amusement, stood up to put a hand on her shoulder. Looking down at her fondly his lips twitched just the slightest while Alice eyes pleaded with him with whatever she was asking for.

I turned to see Carlisle watching them with a bemused expression that I'm sure was on my face as well. After a moment Alice eyes lit up with excitement before turning to me grabbing my arm and tearing me away from the chair I was in; leaving Edward and Carlisle behind in the office.

"Alice" I squeaked, as we entered her room and she started throwing clothes at me.

Even with my enhanced eyes I still found it remarkable how she tore around her room.

"Why are you still standing there, Bella?" she asked, her hands on her hips and foot tapping on the lilac and cream rug in her room.

"I wasn't told to do anything." I answered, shrugging slightly as she rolled her eyes and pulled me toward her bathroom.

"Put these clothes on we're going out, and since your eyes are still red . . ." she trailed off, before reaching into her pocket and handing me a small box with no writing on it.

"Contacts." she explained, when I looked at her questioningly. "I didn't know what color to get you, so I got a variety."

Grabbing my hand, she then led me passed the counter filled with all kinds of various objects to a drawer at the end that she pulled open. It was filled to the brim with little white boxes.

"The ones with the color stickers match the color of the lens, so you shouldn't have trouble finding which color suits you."

I looked down in the drawer to see that the little small boxes had different color stickers on each of them brown, blue, green, though there were some colors I knew no humans had naturally; she did say she picked out a variety. I laughed as I picked up a white box that had a hot pink sticker on it then looked over at Alice who was smiling sheepishly before mumbling "So I got a bit carried away."

I sat the box on the counter and turned to give Alice a hug. I was never good at showing emotions so I muttered a "Thanks" in her ear before turning back around to the drawer and picking out a white box with a brown sticker.

Satisfied with my choice I heard Alice's soft footsteps disappear and the tiny click of the door as she shut it behind her. I then turned my attention to the new clothes Alice had sat out for me on the counter. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes at the attire that I was looking at. They were almost the same except for the fabric and the neckline of the sweater I was changing to had a nice v neck. Ignoring my tags like I did with the previous I slid on the clothes loving the way the material felt on my rock hard skin.

Fixing my sweater assemble in the mirror I reached for the tiny box and popped the lid off letting the tiny container slid into my hand. Carefully I unscrewed the top to the contacts looking at the flimsy little pieces of colored plastics float around in the solution.

With the touch of a feather I plucked both contacts into my eye blinking once to make sure they were in correctly; regretting it immediately when my eyes kept focusing on the texture and pattern of the itchy contacts. I was rubbing my irritated eyes when I made my way back to Alice's room.

I was still messing with my film covered eyes when Alice walked into the room, a smile of amusement at my predicament dancing on her lips as I kept rolling my eyes over and over again.

"We'll get you some sun glasses if it's bothering you that much." she said, chuckling as she grabbed my hand and led me to the staircase and out to the garage.

I had only been to the garage a few times since my first meeting of the Cullens, but the luxury cars still caught me off guard every time I walked in. Lights flashed and the Alarm beeped as Alice pointed her keys to the yellow 911 Turbo parked next to the silver Volvo by the west wall.

I chuckled slightly as I watched Alice squeal in delight as she slid into her car running her hands over the steering wheel lightly before inserting the key into ignition making the engine come purring to life. Without taking a glance behind her, she backed out of the garage at breakneck speed putting the car in drive and speeding off down the driveway, and onto the main road, before the garage door had closed all the way.

Riding with Alice was never boring; she had seen so many things and always had the funniest things to say about what the Cullens (mainly Jasper and Emmett) would get into with there wild bets. But I couldn't see why anyone would ever bet against Alice; she had an unfair advantage against everyone. I was laughing at another story she had told me when I saw we were getting off the highway exit at Seattle instantly my breath hitched in my throat, and I could feel the 3rd pair of contacts melt from the venom in my eyes as they widen in shock.

"Alice . . ." I choked. "Why are we in Seattle?"

I turned to see her bouncing in her seat as she sang to some 50's song on the radio.

"SHOPPING" she squealed in delight.

I couldn't help but start taking unnecessary breaths as I thought about the mall filled with sweet tempting human blood, which would surround me in less than 5 minutes. Especially at the speed we were swerving in between cars. They were going so slow it looked like they were going backwards.

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice chirped. "You'll do fine, trust me, I've already seen it." She winked at me as she slid into a narrow parking space with ease.

Slowly, and dubiously, I climbed out of the car and gulped down as much of fresh air as I could to try to clear my head, just a little, before walking into the disaster that was the mall. If Alice said I wouldn't turn anybody into an afternoon snack – my bet would always go on Alice. I checked my eyes in the side mirror, slipping on another pair of the irritating plastic blindfolds to hide my orange colored eyes.

I walked toward the sliding door where Alice was standing, where her patience was running out as I still kept my human pace. I took one last gulp of fresh air and stopped breathing all together as I walked through the sliding door, immediately, I was being dragged from store to store by Alice.

The first store was some store I knew I would never had been able to set foot in if I was human; even a pair of stockings was out of my price range. Alice threw clothes at me from left and right. I didn't even notice she was shopping for me until she dragged me by the hand and force another pile of clothing on me, and then proceeded to drag me to the fitting rooms; giving me a look that meant I had no room for arguing.

The second a men's store where she picked out a few things for the men of the Cullen family going to the big and tall section just for Emmett. After that we headed to an antique store for Esme, picking an adorable tea china tea set for her even though she would hardly use it. We then stopped by the electronic store for a 300 dollar computer program that Jasper needed; the last stop, was a music store picking up a couple of CD's for Edwards already enormous collection.

With one last stop for Rosalie we left the mall with 14 dresses 15 pairs of any kind of jeans you could ever think of, 10 tops some of them the exact same but the color and 6 pair of shoes later I was able to leave the building similar to the _penitentiary_ called the mall.

I was happy to be away from that hell hole just because while we were in there, I didn't breath much, but that didn't stop the venom pooling in my mouth and my throat setting aflame every time a human passed to close, or my eyes landing on there perfect thin necks to see there jugular veins pumping there life lines through them. Around this time, when I would stare too hard, Alice would nudge me or step on my feet to break me out of my trance. I have to say, I did pretty well for just being around human for that long without slaughtering them all.

Once out of the mall and into the fresh air I breathed in deeply; sucking in the fresh bloodless air, smiling down at Alice as she beamed back up at me a smug look on her face as if she was saying 'I Told You So.'

Like magic we were able to fit all of the bags into Alice Porsche and speed out of the parking deck in the next minute. We weren't low on fuel, at just at half a tank, we had stopped a few times on the way to Seattle; but Alice decided to fill up before heading back. Alice was starting to have Jasper withdrawals and the whole day I had been moping slightly with Edward not being around. I found it silly how just in a few months I had changed from being a nomad vampire who never stayed with anyone or anywhere to long to having a family sharing it with someone I truly loved.

We had pulled into the Quiktrip outside of the Seattle limits when it happened. I don't know why Alice didn't see it, maybe because he was human and she can't see humans as well or maybe he made a split decision to come this way, but it happened none the less. Alice was pumping gas leaning outside up against the car whistling some 50's swinging tune while tapping her foot to the beat of the song. I could feel her pulling the pump out replacing it with gas cover before setting the pump back into the carrier. I had rested my head on my arm on the windowsill of the Porsche listening to her whistle and breathing in the air of the city and other things my senses came across, when I smelled the most exquisite smell ever that made my throat burst into flames.

My mouth pooled with venom as my nostrils flared trying to catch the scent again. I inhaled slowly again as the wind drifted the scent back toward me again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Alice had frozen her eyes, watching me. I ignored her as I let the predator in my take over. Shifting my eyes from back and forth I finally found the source where that sweet scent was coming from, a man in his mid 40's was crossing the street in running gear heading away from us.

"Shit." I heard Alice curse, as I lunged out of the car toward the man in the blue jogging pants. I ran quickly into the tree lining surrounding the gas station jumping from limb high enough to not be noticed but still able to see where my prey was going.

I could feel Alice running and gaining quickly behind me as I jumped from tree to tree gaining quickly on the man. All I wanted was a taste, or just one last time to taste that sweet liquid I absolutely adored. If I was able to taste it one last time, I would never do it again, it was the Cullens fault that I wasn't able to feed happily one last time; they would understand, I thought as I gained on my prey.

I was too focused on my prey; I didn't see Alice when she blindsided me, tackling me into the ground that was wet from the rain the previous day. Before I knew what was happening, she had caught my wrists into her hands, and was sat on my back as I thrashed and growled under her, trying to be set free.

I knew it was too late when I couldn't smell him anymore. I whimpered slightly as the fresh air blew around me, erasing the scent slightly from the air. I relaxed my tense hold and collapsed into the ground, I could feel Alice shifting slightly above me, never releasing her hold. She leaned down; her lips to my ear.

"Are you ok?" she whispered hastily.

I nodded slowly and she released her grip on me standing up and brushing the dirt and leaves off of her, doing the same for me. Alice took a hold of my hand and led me back to the car in silence.

I couldn't believe what had just happened, I had been so proud of myself for being able to withstand all the humans in the mall, and just like that I lost all control. I could see the car through the trees where we were it was still parked by the gas pump. The guilt ate at me the closer we got to the car. The shame bubbled to the surface; I cringed as I inspected the damage I did to the Porsche. I could see my hand prints along the door, where I had gripped the windowsill in my haste to get to my unknown prey. Remembering him, reminded me of all the awful things I was thinking, the dripping and burning in my throat as I easily sacrificed his life in my mind while I chased him down.

Of course, I knew that it was just the animal in me talking, urging me forward to take that mans life, but if I did, if I had succumbed to temptation, what would Edward think? Would he forgive me or would he notice me as the monster that I truly am? Would he leave me if he did notice what I truly was?

Surely anyone as angelic as him could not be with a demon like me. But I was in too deep; it would cause physical pain to be away from him now.

It stayed quiet the car ride back toward Cullens home. I don't know what Alice was doing, whether she was thinking about what had just happened, or simply being quiet just for my sake. It didn't really matter anyway; I was so wrapped up into my thoughts about what they would think of me when they heard how I almost lost control. I was worried the most of how Edward would react to the news.

It was dark when we pulled into the long winding driveway of the Cullen home. Jasper came out right when the engine was killed scooping Alice off her feet and nuzzling her neck playfully her tinkling laugh started a small smile on his lips, Edward came out behind him that beautiful crooked smile on his features.

Brushing his lips lightly over mine, he whispered into my ear his breath dancing over the skin.

"I missed you" he whispered, before hugging me tightly.

I couldn't take it anymore I slightly pulled away from him and ran up the porch stairs into the house heading straight to my room; closing the door behind me.

From the corner near the window of my room where I sat, my knees tucked under my chin my arms wrapping around my legs, as I looked out the glass wall I could hear Alice telling Edward to give me some time, explaining to him what happened. I bit back a sob as she got to the part where I almost caught the unknown man; he would never look at me the same ever again now.

I sat in my tucked position for hours as I looked out the window, I didn't have a clock in my room so I didn't know how long I was sitting in the same position before I heard light footsteps coming toward my room accompanied by a knock a second later.

"Come in," I said softly knowing that whoever it was heard me. I smelled his scent before anything it reminded me of leather or apple wood and sunshine.

"Bella?" I heard him say. I turned my head moving from the position I had been in for so long to see the tall leonine man standing in my door way.

"Hello Jasper" I replied quietly.

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**Ok i know its been a long time but forgive me i got wrapped up in the whole 'Twilight' movie. I stayed away from my computer and pen and pad untill i saw it then it was like my writers block had been shattered i automatically started writing and voila here you go.**

**I LOVED the movie but i was a little mad how they didn't show important scenes like the blood typing or the car rides they went in. I think they could have showed the relation between Bella and Alice a little bit more like you know the car ride scene when they were running from James with Alice holding her hand and soothing her while she cried but i think they did great with such a low budget and i thinking that New Moon would be soo much better (though i am TEAM EDWARD i just think with the money from the first movie they'll be able to do more with the second) All in All I'm still going to see it again ;)**

**Now can you PLEASE leave a reveiw and tell me what you think about the movie and the chapter**.** I really want to know what others thought about the movie i've already talked to a few people but i want to know what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Okay i know everybody was confused with the whole chapter 1 is chapteer 14 mess that happened last night so here is the story.**

**I was writing Chapter 14 last night and i could not remember if i had the time right in my story so when i looked at chapter 1 i noticed that it said Bella had been a vamp for 90years instead of 3 as i have been putting lately. So i being the klutz that i am i tried to change it but i accidentally ended deleting the whole chapter instead. I didn't know how to put it up there so what i did was post chapter 1 as chapter 14 and moved it up to the chapter 1 space. I'm soooooo sorry and its actually surprising that i can at least get chapters up on here because i have no idea how to work the site at all (lol) **

**So here is the real chapter 14 **

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Chapter 14

"Would you mind if I came in?" he said quietly a hint of his southern accent poking out.

I nodded slightly afraid that my voice would crack if I answered out loud. I shifted over a bit as he folded himself on the ground next to me looking out the window as I had been earlier. We sat there for some time Jasper looking out of the glass wall at the scenery me wrapped in my thoughts again about what had happened. A fresh wave of guilt and shame made its appearance as I thought about all the horrible things I thought in order to get the nameless man.

"Why are you so guilty Bella?" I heard Jasper murmur. His eyes never leaving the window, I sighed before answering.

"I was remembering of what happened earlier and all the horrible things I was thinking as I chased that man down." I sighed again as I remembered how I blamed the Cullens for stopping me from before.

"If you don't mind what was it you were thinking?" he asked quietly turning to face me.

Though I knew that Alice had already told him the story I re-elaborated it to him telling him what I was thinking, how I blamed the Cullens when my predator side came out, how I felt Edward would react when he noticed how truly a monster I was.

It was a release talking to Jasper, maybe it was the calming atmosphere his presence presented or maybe he was cheating and using his powers to make me spill but either way. I found myself relieved when I came to an end of my story looking up at Jasper who was still gazing out of the window.

"Your not horrible, Bella" he murmured quietly "Your just new to this, it's like being a newborn again isn't it." he said glancing over at me "learning self control all over again only it's harder since you have already tasted human blood and you see how it quenches your thirst the way animal blood can't, have you heard my story Bella? I'm sure the bite scars tell you where I came from before I came here."

I nodded slowly it was quite clear that Jasper was in the southern wars before coming here.

"I only came here for Alice because she's always wanted a family and if she leaves so will I. I try only for her" he finished quietly "You have to learn restraint which can take centuries, you'll have to hunt more, and we'll all help you." he said turning his head to smile at me. "Well except for Rosalie she probably won't help."

From somewhere in the house I heard Rosalie shouting "Don't you dare tell her that Jasper Hale Whitlock."

He laughed loudly his golden hair falling over his.

"You know I will help her; how could you say something like that?" Rosalie continued "Don't listen to him Bella".

I snickered lightly as Jasper got up lending me a hand to pull me up.

" I think you should talk to Edward now before he paces a hole in the living room floor, Esme will not be happy if she has to relay the floors after doing them just last week" he winked at me before walking down the stairs toward Alice side ruffling her spiked hair before placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.

I walked in the living room to see Edward literallypacing a hole in the floor. Emmett and Rosalie cuddled on the couch there eyes following his movements like cats would follow string. Occasionally, Emmett would throw a pillow only to see Edward repel it back toward him with a flick of his wrist. Emmett's booming laugh would then fill the room as he persisted on breaking Edward's train of thought.

It was actually a comical sight. When Emmett and Rosalie noticed my presence they swiftly left the room heading up stairs. I decided to sit on the couch and wait until Edward noticed me. He seemed to be in deep thought since he didn't know notice I was out of the room and sitting right in front of him.

"Edward," I spoke quietly. His head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Once he saw me recognition flooded his face and he darted to me, sitting on his knees cupping my face in his hands.

"Bella, are you OK?" he said quietly his thumb tracing patterns over my cheeks "I was so worried, I shouldn't have let you leave. I promise, next time I'll come with you."

I put my lips to his ceasing his ridiculous rambling. I pulled away from him looking into his yellow eyes which still showed how much he was worrying. His eyebrows furrowed together to make a permanent crease over his eyes. I placed a finger there to smooth out his lines of worrying. I realized almost instantly that I never wanted to see him like this again. I hated anything that creased his beautiful face with pain like this.

"Edward," I said kissing his chin, he sighed "I knew that the time would come and I would react to human blood the only way I knew how, which was to hunt. It reminded me of my childhood, when my mother would tell me not to eat my dessert before my dinner. I couldn't resist and I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want me anymore." I said my eyes leaving his to nothing particular on the ground.

I heard the low growl that came from his lower chest before I felt his hands grab my upper arms.

"I heard that through Jasper's thoughts," he growled. "How could you think that?" His face softening with his voice "I love you, I won't leave you. I don't care what you do. Even if you massacre a whole town, I will love you forever. You have to realize that."

If my heart could beat it would have stopped at his words. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. It was then that I decided I would spend the rest of my forever with Edward.

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**Leave reviews i like them they make me smile (lol)  
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**it's like getting a star next to your tests when your young (even if you didnt do a good job)**


	15. Chapter 15

**So i couldn't find inspiration to write at all after i posted the last chapter so i started listening to music and then BAM inspiration his me like a brick wall**

**so this chapter is dedicated to Chiodos, My Chemical Romance, From First to Last, A7X, BlesstheFall, Escape The Fate and Ramenstein ( the last one I'm not to sure of i just heard somebody playing the song in there car)  
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Edward and I held hands as we entered the house and started to ascend the massive staircase in the Cullens house. The both of us heading there separate ways to pack up for the big move that was happening at the end of the week. Before I had showed up Edward and his family has been in Forks for 3 years and now it was time for them to move on again.

Edward explained to me how they never stayed in an area for too long to keep the humans from being to suspicious about how they never seemed to age. Having the population think they were drinking directly from the fountain of youth would do nobody any favors.

Last week we had all been called into the family room to discuss we're they would move this time. I had my doubts when the subject of moving was first brought up, I figured that they would leave me to wander by myself like before I had met Edward.

When I discussed my fears with Esme asking if I could be apart of her family and stay with them; and especially Edward. Her smile could have lit up a dark room as she pulled me toward her murmuring, "I wouldn't have it any other way, dear." before letting me go and telling me to pack my stuff.

For the past few days I had been excited that I would be able to be with Edward and his family or _our _family as he corrected me constantly.

It certainly felt like they were my family now. I had never been part of a unit this large, but to me it was obvious. How Emmett and I would play video games, and talk trash at one other as we blew each other's characters up during a game of halo. How he would muss my hair every time I lost, then pound his chest roaring.

"I Am Man!"

How I would sit in Jasper's study with him and read his books; questioning him about times of the Great War he participated in while he was still human. How Rosalie and Alice would steal me away from the sanctuary of my room to play Bella Barbie and dress me up in all kind of outfits; some of them the same just in different colors. How I would bond with Esme in her garden or just sit in Carlisle's study reading all the books in his massive collection or my personal favorite crawling into Edwards lap and laying there with him, talking about everything and yet nothing at all.

All of my past worries had been settled as we sat in the family room waiting for Emmett to make his decision on where we to go, seeing as this year it was his turn to decide. After pondering and doing some massive googling; he finally settled on Kenai, Alaska. A small town on the Kenai Peninsula; it was about a three hour drive from Anchorage, Alaska. Everybody seemed to agree, so we all went to pack our things.

I had entered my room and got to work, seeing that some of my stuff I had already boxed up before I had left with Edward to visit the meadow one last time.

Out of all the things I would miss of Forks, it was our meadow; the one place where it was just him and me and the outside world didn't matter.

I looked around the room again full of nostalgia. All of the furniture would be auctioned off or given away to charities; except for the few pieces we wanted to keep for ourselves.

My wardrobe had decreased in great size, due to the constant bear wrestling matches I had with Emmett. The few pieces of clothing I did, have were going to Goodwill and other charities.

Edward had given me a hint on not packing to many things, because Alice and Rosalie would be dragging me off to the mall once we got to our first destination, Denali. When I asked about it, Alice told me we were visiting a coven that the Cullens had known, and that they were considered very close family friends.

Tanya, her two sisters Kate, and Irina, and Elezar and Carmen; who just recently joined them; had known the Cullens for years, and every time they would pack up and move, the Cullens would always visit them before heading to their final destination.

So that's where we were packing up to go to, sending the rest of our bags and cars to the house in Kenai; while we traveled to Denali in Emmett's massive truck and another off road vehicle we would pick up before we left Forks.

Even though I had gotten reassurances from the Cullens about Tanya and her family, I couldn't help but be a little hesitant toward them, as the same question circled through my head; _what if they didn't like me_?

When I voiced my concern to Edward, he just pecked my cheek.

"Silly Bella," he whispered in my ear. "They'll love you like I do, but not as much."

Even though my concerns were laying at ease for the time being, I couldn't help the nervous jitters I would get as we got closer to the big move; which was only one day away now.

I was pondering on how Tanya and her family would accept me when I heard Alice soft feet making there way toward my room.

"Hey Bella," she trilled in her musical voice, plopping down on my couch pulling her feet under her.

She took a look around my room; her eyebrows furrowing together as she looked at the boxes that weren't taped together. I had run out of tape earlier and I was planning on dragging somebody with me to get some. Ever since the previous mall incident, I didn't trust myself around humans, even though Edward said I was doing remarkably well.

"Do you want to go to the store now or later?" Alice asked, probably seeing my decision on asking her to take me.

"Ummm," I said thoughtfully as I considered the options. "How about after I finish packing this last suitcase?"

Alice agreed and disappeared from the room as I threw the last of my clothes into the traveling bag. I then turned to leave closing, my bedroom door behind me.

I walked into the garage to see Alice already waiting for me in the back seat of the Volvo. Edward was sitting in the driver side, smiling at me. I slid into the passenger seat, and turned to smile at him; leaning over the gear shift to peck him on the cheek; ignoring the 'sniffles' that Alice was making in the back seat, as we sped down the winding driveway toward the highway.

With Edward driving; we pulled into the local supermarket Ron's Food Mart.

"I remember shopping here with Charlie," I murmured in the passenger seat, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips.

Excited to see something from my past life, I hurriedly got of the car pulling Edward along with me. The bell above the sliding doors rang as we stepped into the store; to be honest the aroma of a grocery store while I was human wasn't that bad; it was nice to smell all the fresh produce. As a vampire, everything smelled horrible. The human food smelled like dirt and coffee on the bottom of shoe.

Holding my breath and passing the produce section, we walked down onto aisle ten, which held the necessary items; like magazines and the main thing we had come for, packing tape.

After grabbing all the tape that we could fit inside of our little carry basket; it was time to go, so we headed to the front toward the cash registers. With Alice reading the latest vogue magazine, commenting on the latest fashion trends to Rosalie on her phone, and Edward who was trying to block out all of the thoughts that were bouncing in his head, while rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand. I was left with just watching the regular town folk of Forks go on about there normal lives. Some of them -not caring how rude it was- gawking at the three of us, well mainly me, since I hadn't been seen as much as the other two. I kept my head down low and averting my eyes from there curious gazes while still feeling there eyes burn holes through me.

I was watching the door as a child and her mother left the supermarket, the young child was crying, and pulling against her mother's hand obviously still trying to get something she had been asking for. I smiled at the scene, as the words reached my ears easily. They stepped off the curb and that's when I saw _him. _

He was in the same sheriff uniform I saw him wear countless times when he would leave and come back from work. His hair was still the same a curly mess and his eyes were still the same chocolate brown mine used to be before I was changed.

I gasped slightly at the sight of him; as he grabbed a cart and wheeled toward the aisle that was dedicated to sea food. My eyes followed him through the store as he meandered through it. Edward and Alice had noticed my excitement, they both looked at me; trying to find the reason for my outburst. I was turning to follow him, I didn't know what I was doing, but that one fleeting look hadn't been enough. I had only taken one step before I felt Edward squeeze my hand. I looked into his worried eyes, and uttered only one word to him.

"Charlie," I said as I grabbed his hand, and quickly pulled him down the aisle that I just seen my father disappear down.

When I finally caught sight of him again, I saw him trying to decide which cereal would be best, before he threw both in the cart and headed to the dairy aisle for milk, I could only guess.

Silently Edward, Alice and I followed, keeping as far back as possible. I could feel the invisible tears tickle the corner of my eyes at the sight of Charlie. He looked the same the last time I saw him before that night, except for the lines around his eyes showing his age; but he still looked my father, my Charlie.

I watched as he drifted over to frozen food section picking out microwavable dinners. Edward and Alice in tow, I walked up closer to get a better look; playing the part as if I were interested in the Stouffer's lasagna and macaroni dinners that were in the ice box.

Out the corner of my eye I saw him as he picked out random items, placing them in the cart. I couldn't help but frown as I saw the contents in his cart. Not one thing was healthy, especially for a man his age. Not paying close attention to what was going on, I heard him cough pulling my attention from inside of his cart to his face.

I heard his heart beat speed up as he took in my face; his breath whooshing out, his eyes widening in surprise.

"I'm sorry," he said tumbling over his words slightly. His cheeks reddening in a delicious manner, but I couldn't feel the burn in my throat like usual, because this was my father, and I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt him.

"Are you new here?" he questioned me, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You look so familiar," he said as he took a cautious step closer.

My finger itched to touch his face, to memorize it, but I knew my control wasn't that fantastic, so settled for memorizing every inch of his face. Realizing that I never answered his question, I answered quietly, almost in a whisper.

"Yes, I'm visiting some family," I watched as his eyes glazed over at the sound of my voice and he took a step closer. "Are you with the Cullens" he questioned his eyes darting toward Alice who was behind me watching me at ease as if she knew that I wouldn't cause any harm toward him.

"Yes" I squeaked as I ran out of breath and breathed in his scent. If I smelled even half of how good Charlie smelled I understood the reason for the vampire attack that happened to me, No I didn't appreciate it, but I was coming to understanding as the ac over us blew Charlie's scent toward me again. He smelled like warm honey and he had a slight flowery scent to him – _freesia? _Venom pooled in my mouthas I took in another breath of his wonderful scent. Committed to memory I would never hurt Charlie but I wanted o remember every tiny thing about him that I could while I still had time to do so.

I could feel my control slipping, as the fire in my throat was becoming unbearable though I wouldn't hurt Charlie I couldn't pit the same fate to any of the other town folk in the grocery store I squeezed Edward hand slightly. Hoping he would understand my need to get away.

"Come on Bella," he whispered slightly as he pulled my hand softly leading me away from Charlie whose eyes were widening in shock at the mention of my name.

"Bella," he said quietly, "My daughters name is Bella," he said quietly as his eyes crinkled slightly in concentration. Edward was pulling me toward the front of the store as Charlie stared at me; emotions flitting across his face.

After hurrying through the check out lane and walking into the parking lot, where we spotted Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory shooting evil glares at me and Edward as we walked past them, I held my breath even though the opportunity to see fear in their eyes was tempting.

Edward opened the door for me and I climbed in. Finally seated in the passenger seat of the Volvo, I noticed Edward and Alice shooting me wary glances. I hung my head and kept my silence as we pulled out of the parking lot of the supermarket.

As we drove back to the big white house by the river, Edward sighed and turned toward me; pulling on my hand to bring me out my thoughts.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his eyes showing how worried he was.

"I'm Fantastic," I replied; and it was the truth it was then I noticed that he took me being quiet as a sign of me mourning the loss of my family; the family I had as a human. I could feel him relax as my smile spread over my face.

"I'm so happy for that I was able to see Charlie; it was the only thing I wanted to do. The main reason I had come back to Forks." I said, my smile becoming impossibly wider. "Even better that I was able to control myself; even when we were in such close proximity." When the prospect of seeing my father crossed my mind I figured I would have to watch from a distance while he was at work or watching him sleep at night outside of his window holding my breath the whole time but now that I got my final wish and it presented it self in the most fabulous way The world automatically looking brighter.

"So …?" I heard Edward start, "You're not sad that you can't stay with your old family, that you can't see them anymore?"

His eyes were searching mine. I smiled again in encouragement before replying.

"If everything that happened hadn't happened; then I wouldn't be led to you. You're my family now." I said squeezing his hand as I turned to look out the window again. It was then that Alice decided to strike.

"So since we're family Bella," she started off nonchalantly. Automatically my instincts were telling me to run. "Can I give you a make over?" she squealed excitedly.

The rest of the ride was spent with me protesting another escapade of Bella Barbie - with Alice in the end being the victor and me being subjected to trying on of clothes on top of clothes.

*******************************************************************

It was Thursday night now; the day of the big move/vacation as Emmett lightly put it. We would be leaving in the early hours of Friday morning; getting to Denali by nightfall.

Everything had been packed up and loaded into the moving vans on Wednesday night a van that should be half way to the house in Kenai.

I had never seen the house in Kenai, but from how Rosalie and Alice described it to me; I was sure it would be beautiful, just like the rest of Esme houses they had told me about.

All of the cars, except for Emmett's, had been shipped up to the house earlier this afternoon leaving Edward, Alice and Rosalie to mope around the house about their cars being in the hands of humans.

I was in Edward's room, helping him get last minute things together cheering him up about his car when he stiffened next to me and his head lifted; looking out the dark window. At his reaction, I turned my head toward the window wrinkling my nose at the wet-dog smell that accompanied the breeze as it passed through. It could only be one person and I figured that he wouldn't come and see me since how he had reacted previous.

Hesitating; I walked toward the open glass sliding door that was in Edward's room that led out to the balcony. Peering over the edge if my heart was beating it would be speeding as I saw my best friend standing in the trees by the river, across from the Cullen home.

Edward had explained the treaty with the Cullens and the Werewolves of La Push so I knew he was risking the treaty being annulled; but I could care less as I took one look at Edward, who was watching me closely, as I vaulted over the balcony landing gracefully on the balls of my feet.

Swiftly I ran toward the river using one of the rocks as a spring to cross, landing silently behind him facing toward the back of the house and Edward on one of the many tree branches that covered the area. During my whole show, Jacob hadn't moved an inch; but I could see the small smile on his features as he turned toward me as I jumped from my landing area standing 10 feet away from him.

"Show off," I heard him mutter as I giggled quietly. The tinkling sounds of my voice making his smile disappear as quickly as it came.

"I'm Sorry Bella," he said, his deep voice rumbling. "If I went with you that night; and if I didn't listen to Billy and went anyway, instead if staying at home; maybe this would have never have happened, and you would still be alive."

His voice cracked at the end. It was pure torture to see Jacob hurt; he was my best friend, so I didn't think of any other options as I slowly took steps towards him. As I lightly put my hand on his warm shoulder, we both flinched at the same time. Even though all of my instincts were telling me to fight or take flight, I fought them back as I slowly put my hand on his shoulder again patting it consolingly.

"Jake," I whispered. "It's Ok," I said softly," I'm glad you weren't there that night, what would have happened if you were harmed how would Billy deal with that" I asked him listening as sobs wracked through his body. I had never seem him cry even though my life in Forks was short Jacob and me had been friends ever since we were kids and I would stay with Charlie during my summer breaks.

It was heart wrenching to see him cry when I had never seen him cry before - even when he had got the fishing hook stuck in his arm while we were fishing with Billy and Charlie one summer afternoon not one single tear went down his face as they pulled it out and stitched his arm back up.

"Jake" I whispered still trying to sooth the sobs that were coming from him "I've never been happier, honestly," I said "Since I came back and met the Cullens my life has changed for the better. They'll watch over me so don't worry"

I patted his shoulder slowly, his head was still bent causing shadows to cover his eyes but his head snapped up his eyes narrowing as my last comment gripped him.

"Happy?" he questioned "How could you be happy?" he said slowly "Look at what you've become."

His arms were shaking slightly. Taking a slow unneeded breath, I looked up at Jake, his eyes showing the pain he was in; even though he looked like a grown man, he was still only a sixteen year old boy that was dealing with things that were to big for him.

"I know how you feel Jake, and trust me I've already gone through the remorse stage; but I've learned to live with this. I will never forgive myself of what I did in the past before I met the Cullens but I'm trying to change my ways; and I can only do so much with what I was given to work with." I said slowly.

"I'm leaving with the Cullens later today. I might not be able to give back the lives of my previous victims, I can't change the past but I can try to change my future. I'm trying not to be a monster."

My eyes had started to drift toward the floor as I made my little speech, I heard Jacob huff in defiance, and I peeked out from under my hair to see him. His eyebrows were still furrowed but his eyes were slightly calmer and his hands were finally at a stand still.

"Sure, Sure," he murmured before settling in the ground.

I followed his lead. We talked about everything how he had started to phasing a couple of months after my disappearance, how after the first year of my disappearance, Harry Clearwater had died from a heart attack. How Charlie and Sue helped each other thus starting a relationship between them.

He explained about imprinting and how he imprinted on a girl in the reservation named Michelle. He described her as tall and slim with green eyes and long brown hair I watched in amazement as his eyes would glass over and a smile would spread on his face as he talked about her. I wondered briefly if that how my face would shine when I thought about Edward.

The sun was starting to rise when I heard feet coming our way; and seeing how Jacob tensed, I figured he had heard them too.

Out of the trees surrounding us, Edward came standing fifteen feet away from Jacob; his face expressionless as he called me.

"Bella it's time to leave now," he said softly.

I rose to my feet the same time as Jacob; his eyes full of sorrow as he watched me walk towards Edward side.

"You better take care of her," he growled, staring Edward down. In my peripheral vision, I saw Edward nod stiffly as he put an arm around my shoulder, starting to lead me away.

"Bye Jake," I called over my shoulder as he still stood in the shadow of the trees. "Keep in touch ok?" I called after him, Jacob was still my best friend and if I was able to keep apart of my human life with me than I would take all I can get even if we were supposed to be mortal enemies. I watched as he smiled slightly before nodding and turning around disappearing in shadow of the trees.

As we came around the bend of the trees; I saw everyone waiting for us by the cars that were already packed up and ready to go. As we got closer I saw Rosalie crinkling her nose motioning to Emmett who came over trying to spray me with febreeze before saying "pee-yew" and fanning me slightly.

Rolling my eyes I climbed into the rental car; a 2009 Steel Blue Metallic Jeep Grand Cherokee. The interior a light gray stone color. I ran my hands over the smooth interior of the car marveling at how delicate and soft it felt under my touch the soft purr of the engine alerting me that it was on.

After everything was set, Edward climbed into the back with me taking a hold of my hand and pulling me against his chest breathing, in my scent and planting kisses on my hair every so often.

Carlisle was in the driver seat his hand holding onto Esme's as he traced mindless patterns against it. I could see Emmett and Rosalie in the other Jeep, mirroring the scene; her hand in Emmett's, with Jasper and Alice cuddled in the backseat like Edward and I.

With one last glance at the big house on the river, which had been my first real home since my change where I gained a family, we pulled off down the winding driveway for the last time.

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	16. AN

Hi Everybody

I'm Sorry to say this but I have to put this story on hold until I come back from school. Before now I was working saving money to buy all my school necessities and etc but I wasn't able to get a laptop that would let me continue this story while away from home.

No worries though, I will finish this story but I figured the last chapter was a good way to end it for now. I'm very sorry but when I have the time between studying and all the other hassles I will write and if I'm lucky enough I'll be able to update while at school and spring break is only a couple of months away

thanks for keeping with the story for this long

-Najah


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